Falling for God @ 9.8 m/s^2

Twenty Twentysomethings Lessons

2011-11-07T18:06:00.001-06:00

It is the last day I will spend in my 20's. (If I were Korean, I'd actually be considered 31 already and this list would be much less exciting). I have dreaded, feared, worried about, and looked forward to this day, to this season of my life. I'm always looking forward...when I was a teenager, I couldn't wait to "have it together" and start my grown up life, only to find out we're always trying to grow up. Matt said it best in a letter written in 6th grade to his future self. "Open when you are 25" it says. Because we for sure will have it together by the time we're 25. Here are a few lesson learned, observations about, and goals set in this wonderfully tumultuous decade:

1. I didn't have it completely together when I was 25. In fact, I don't think I'll ever really have it completely together, and that's OK.

2. My failures were mine to make, mine to suffer through, and my responsibility to learn from.

3. I am never alone in my suffering through #2.

4. Karaoke will always bring out the best in people.

5. Being right feels nice for awhile but being humble feels better.

6. I have too much stuff.

7. Dumpster diving is the key to material happiness.

8. Sleep cures colds, soothes anger, and is essential for happy relationships.

9. Lack of sleep fosters colds, increases anger, and leads to the inevitable end of relationships. I will try to be nicer during periods of reduced sleep.

10. God is a mystery who reveals Himself in beautiful ways. Science is an exciting mystery that we are privileged to discover. We cannot know everything about either. One does not explain, un-explain, prove, or disprove the other.

11. I will shut up and listen more this decade.

12. I will finish my masters degree. Because my husband wants me to and he really is right about this one.

13. There are things in my control and things out of my control.

14. I will not worry about things out of my control. Letting that gray hair grow was a good start.

15. I will acknowledge and be thankful for beauty and love and loyal animals.

16. Keeping up with the Jones' is a bunch of baloney. I will try to keep up with my dreams.

17. Processed foods may lead to the death of domesticity but I will fight! With tomatoes!

18. Following through is not my forte, but I'll work on it. Check back in 10 years when I'm forty. (Ha! Get it? Forte, Forty? Addendum to #18 - keep telling dumb jokes.)

19. *People will always disappoint me but I should love them anyway (because I will always disappoint people and I'd like to be loved anyway, too). *even though I sometimes don't refer to them as people, 9th graders are included in #19.

20. It is important to live the life intended for me. It is also important to remember to enjoy it now, even if I am eagerly looking down the road to the next season of life, when I'll for sure have it together.

Super Squash Soup!

2011-09-26T19:40:00.000-05:00

It's been requested that I share my squash soup recipe. I would be happy to...except that I don't really have one. I cook by the seat of my pants and Matt seems to think that is a gift, rather than mere procrastination and luck. We'll go with what he said.

All of the ingredients are up for discussion, substitution, or complete disregard, except for the squash if you really want squash soup.

SUPER SQUASH SOUP!
Put your big old soup pan on the stove on medium-low and add this:
One small chopped onion
some olive oil (so your onions don't burn)
2 crushed garlic cloves

Put the lid on the pot to keep the moisture in while you prepare the following:
2 carrots diced
2 celery stalks
1 potato/sweet potato diced
& any other veggies in your fridge you need to get rid of

When those are all chopped, add them to the pot, stir, and replace the lid.

Take your washed squash - I use butternut - and peel it with a vegetable peeler. This is a huge pain, but I think you waste the least amount. If you have another type of squash, a veg peeler might be out of the question and you'll just have to cut off the outside with a knife.

Cube the squash, being sure to remove the seeds and gooey part in the middle. (Oooh and ahhh over the bright & brilliant beauty of the inside!) Add it to the pot and replace the lid.

(Keep the moisture in the pot - if there is not enough coming from the veggies, just add some water)

You might have to turn up the heat a bit if it's going too slow. You want the pieces of squash and carrots to be tender so they can get pureed easily. Cook for 15 minutes or until the squash is tender.

Carefully scoop your soup into a food processor, add a handful of cilantro, and puree it to your liking. (I have to do this a few cups at a time since my processor is small). Some people will only process half of the soup so it remains chunky. If you have an immersion blender thingy, use it right in your pot.

Return soup to pot on low. If your soup is too thick, add some water*. If it's too runny, take the lid off and cook for a bit. Add salt and pepper to taste.

*If you can handle dairy, instead of adding water you might try cream. I bet it tastes GREAT!

This would not be possible without the CRATE full of winter squash and zucchinis from my neighbors. They are generous with their bounty and tolerant of oversize wood piles in our yard. I am very grateful for these people.

Happy Super Squash Soup making, friends!

waiting for a little life

2011-03-22T20:22:00.000-05:00

Spring is something else, eh? We wait and wait and wait for the teeniest bit of green to lift our spirits from the bitterness of winter and when it comes, we say, "I can't believe it! It's finally here!" and yet we knew it would be here sometime. Part of what makes these signs of life so exciting is that we KNOW it's coming; we think about how wonderful it will be, how it will smell, and how it will make us feel when we wake up each day knowing the goodness of life is all around.

Our house is showing signs of life, too.

Even though outside snow may come and cover up peeking tulip/lily/iris bulbs that prompted some landscaping daydreaming this week, inside things are growing. A plant survived a winter with me. Not only did it survive, it's BLOOMING! It's a Spring miracle, I tell you! Mom better read this because she will be very proud that a plant in her daughter's care has finally stayed alive. I don't even know the name of this gem but I plan on getting at least five more this summer to fill my house to make visitors think I have a magical green thumb.

The Seedling Adventure has also begun. The first chapter goes something like this:

....she carefully placed each seed in their respective nook, gently covered them with precisely mixed soil, gave them a blessing, and waited for the sun and water to do its work. Sometime during the night, the cat, who was irked there was neither catnip nor cat grass planted, decided to take matters into her own paws. The gardener woke up, cursed the cat, and the romantic dream of planting and nurturing seedlings until they bore fruit, died.

So, yeah, we'll see how it goes. So far the onions are going crazy. I think onions might be one of those invasive species you have to gather and light on fire if you don't want it to spread.

The other thing that is growing in our house is a SCOBY for making Kombucha. It's a big glob of bacteria and yeast that eats tea and sugar and somehow balances your intestinal flora. Kombucha and I so far have a love love, hate hate hate relationship. I loved it, carefully prepared it, waited 3 weeks (quite impatiently) for it to reach the right pH, only to find out it had mold! You would think something as gross as a SCOBY could tackle some mold, but it couldn't. Dumping out 3 weeks' worth of fermenting tea, I felt defeated. This batch is going much better, and I'm being much more patient. In fact, this photo was the only time I've uncovered it to look at the disgustingly beautiful alien being.

Waiting around for life (and sometimes being disappointed) has been a bit of a roller coaster. But I'm still waking up, hopeful.

Blogbattical: a year without blogging

2011-03-01T16:06:00.001-06:00

Sometimes we need to break away from things because they are unhealthy, sometimes because of time constraints, sometimes for reasons we don't know. The last year required me to take a break from the reflection that blogging offered. I would only later come to understand why. The break freed up time (as sabbaticals often do) and I wish I could say I used my time to write a book (or at least read a bunch of them), knit a grown-up sweater, or sew something really difficult. Yeah, well, none of those things happened. I just got older.

I used to think I would accept age humbly and joyfully. What a load of crap. This year I found (TWO!) gray hairs and didn't get carded buying wine at the liquor store. I cannot stay up past 10pm without pacing around the house groaning, "it's so laaaate!" This winter, I begged Matt to grow a beard so he would look older (and not like a kid I was babysitting). I now enjoy and PREFER to stay home on Friday night.

Despite my aging crisis, the year did not pass without gain and triumph. In that extra time, I did some stuff I'm quite proud of. I finished all but 2 credits towards my Masters and started my research project. A 9 month old was entrusted to me each weekday for half of the year. I ran a marathon. I rode a horse into the mountains and then climbed the mountain. A teenager showed up, needing our love, time, and home cooking. I started teaching again. We found a church. I found the perfect pizza crust recipe. I finally learned how to tame my (graying) hair.

The year was not a total loss.

But I'm back to the familiar 'click click click' that puts ME out there to YOU, whoever, wherever you are. My blogbatical is over. The trees are aching to show us that they are alive, and I'm aching to let go of things I should have done and open up to the possibility that this year, too, will age and better me.

I'll always be younger than you...but not necessarily cooler...

2010-02-26T00:33:00.001-06:00

To my dearest brother, Matt who turns 37 today:

For your birthday, I'd like to sing you a song because you showed me how to have performance composure and how to really enjoy dancing and singing while wearing sequins. Thank you for sharing with me your musical gifts; one of my favorite memories of you is watching you sing in your bedroom to the Beach Boys (or was it Huey Lewis and the News?) sporting your neon green sunglasses. I thought you were sooooo cool. In fact, I thought you were so cool that I wanted to do everything like you, including playing the trombone. It's even documented in a 6th grade video that this was my main reason for picking the trombone.

Your present this year is SmartWool athletic socks to help your icky sweaty feet when you run. I know they get gross because we have the exact same feet DNA. I promise these socks will change your life, just like basketball changed mine. You showed me how to really play hard and love the game. It took me awhile to get off of the gymnastics bandwagon and I wouldn't have done it without your awesome defense and rad looking basketball jersey. I loved listening to Dad yell during the games and talk (yell?) with you afterward. I learned a lot.

My google calendar just popped up a reminder that it's your birthday. Remember when I forgot? You thought I was mad at you. I felt like the worst sister in the world so I sent you twice the presents. You've never forgotten mine and always call with a "Heeeeey, Happy Birthday. Did you get some cake?" In fact, if I were to tally all of the phone calls I've ever received, EVER, you would be on the top of the list for sure. (Don't tell Mom she's not on the top...) When I went to college, you called to check up on me all the time. I might have acted like I was too busy for you, but felt really really loved when you called. So, sorry and Thank You.

I have so enjoyed watching you with your family. You are a great husband and father and your kids love the snot out of you. I saw you come home after work one day when Zachary was a little guy. You kissed Zachary on the head and your smile was so familiar. I figured it was the same smile that Dad had when he got home from work.

You are such a cool brother; you always watch for the best electronics deals making you an awesome resource, you are not above the go-karts and arcade games (and you don't even make fun of how much I suck at the driving games), you play tanks with my husband until 3am (you set high goals for yourself), you text me silly stuff (like a picture of your toilet bowl containing poo and one of your childrens' toys) which makes my day, and you still call me a lot to check up (and it still makes me feel really really loved).

So Happy Birthday big brother. Wish I could be there to sing you a song, give you a hug, and eat your cake.

Love you!

A Special Guy who loved red

2010-02-08T00:40:00.001-06:00

Today is the day that my greatly loved Dad passed away, 13 years ago. I can't believe that he's been gone almost as long as I knew him. But like my mom said today, memories can keep people alive in us. The recent recurring memory that has waltzed into my thoughts (Dad taught me how to waltz, sort of) is an 'after dinner' memory....the scent of garlic still lingers in the air from another delicious experiment for dinner and Dad is standing over the stove meticulously scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. It's funny that THIS is what I remember because I really hate cleaning, especially tasks like the stove. Ugh. It is comforting to know I'm not the only one who has ever had to do it.

I often remember getting tucked in at night, after I was really "too old" to be tucked in. He would slowly walk up the stairs and pause in my doorway. He probably thought I was asleep but maybe he knew I was up and about until I saw the hallway light switch on and then scrambled into bed.

He watched all of my performances with great attention and being a head taller than most in the audience, I could always find his face when I needed an encouraging smile. He nicknamed all of my friends according to something silly they had done; Flowergirl (for parking her bike in Mom's flowers), Crash (for crashing into the tree whilst tree swinging), Smurfette and Squirrel (?)...you get the picture.

I love hugs and kisses, just like him. He gave to me his love of travel and his curiosity about the world. I get really angry during sporting events and that is certainly not from my mother. He was proud, loving, a teeny bit stubborn, and really really great to be around. And the man just loved red! And we (still) love him.

A little punk rock for a little Rock Star

2010-01-28T14:57:00.002-06:00

Little Emily's 6th birthday is approaching and finding a gift for the only girl kid in our family is so much fun. She is really unique, blending the best of spunky, sweet, and sometimes a little shy. (Oh, and I forgot smart and super-fast....she is both of those things too!) A lover of creating masterpieces, singing, and giggling, Emily is easily the cutest, neatest, bestest niece in the world. (Aunt Merry is not the bestest at grammer, but please bear with her...)

So, for such a special chica, I decided to try and tackle a special crafted gift (sewn actually...GASP!) from one of my most loved t-shirts from Korea, mostly because it is PINK and has HEARTS. Duh. We totally love pink and hearts. I was inspired by this and this both from Kojo Designs blog and came up with this:

!!!

A skirt with pink, hearts, AND a matching mini-bag. You know, for her phone, guitar picks, markers, barrettes, whatever. I can just imagine her rocking out in this skirt on her Hannah Montana guitar with some cool tights and her wrist-warmers from Christmas. And maybe a Dora pj top. The kid has her own style and I'm proud to be her Aunt.

Can't wait to make her more stuff. I love this kid.

Old Beginnings

2010-01-25T15:09:00.000-06:00

After 17 years of being on the receiving side of education, I switched sides and got to run my own classroom for awhile. Now I'm back to where it all started. A jittery, overplanned teacher's pet is about to leave for her first day of school, again. It seems pretty silly because I've taken science graduate classes (20 credits worth, actually!) but this is different. Most of my classmates and my professor will NOT be of the science nerd variety. I have a hard time relating to people who want to teach the Other subjects. Instead of being fairly cool in a room full of geeks, I get to be the geek in a room full of normal people. I think it just boils down to a basic fear of being accepted. Growing up is still hard.

When I was growing up, mom always made us take a "first day of school" picture. In the spirit of first day traditions (including a nervous stomach and maybe even a few tears) here I am, ready to go. I hope I have enough pencils and highlighters.

Part Lumberjack, Part Caveman

2009-12-09T15:24:00.001-06:00

In loving honor of my new husband, this post is all about Matt and what he loves. Before you read the following statements, be sure to practice saying the word "love" with much emphasis on the "uh" part. And then a big pause after the noun/verb while you contemplate just how much you "louuuuhve" the said noun/verb. Because that is how Matt says it.

Matt:
I love food.

I love fire.

I love this pan.

Me: Do you love chopping wood?
Matt: YESSSSS. I love Cutting AND Chopping.

And finally, last night, the statement that stole my Wisconsin heart:

I love cheese.

Of course you do dear, because you love all foods minus melons and coleslaw and that one thing you told me yesterday at the grocery store that I can't remember. And to think that I get on your case for forgetting stuff!

Since half of his list involves fire and wood, it's only fitting for a little glimpse into our bedroom lately...

....because it's really cold and our house is really drafty, our bedroom is now the living room! Matt gets up every few hours to grab the wood that he chopped and throw it into the fire he crafted. I'm enjoying the warmth and Mia is enjoying the free snuggles. Matt is just enjoying all of it, because he loves so much, which is one reason we louuuuuuhve him so much!

Expectations

2009-11-20T15:55:00.000-06:00

(This posting was originally themed 'Expectations and Entitlement' but by the time I got around to entitlement, the expectations had brought me too much joy and I decided to quit right there. Lesson learned.)

Last week brought my friends Katie and Dave a beautiful little gift in the form of wrinkly skin, poopy diapers, and a pretty face with TWO! dimples. After months of anticipating her arrival, Sophie showed up exactly when she was expected. I watched as Sophie's new parents stared at her with awe, amazement, and of course love as she yawned, wiggled, and enjoyed her 1st-day-of-life-out-of-the-womb slumber. Oh! How an itty bitty person can carve such a gargantuan mark on our souls.

Later that week, Matt and I got our own little unexpected bundle of joy to the tune of sloppy water drinking, destruction prone, loves to chase squirrels doggie, Mia. She is needy, skinny, scared, and FULL of love. She hasn't left my 5 foot personal space bubble since Saturday. At the first feeling of abandonment, Mia attempts to flee, victimizing anything in her way (including but not limited to: vases, plants, picture frames, window blinds, window screens). So we bought a crate. At any rate, loving Mia means being patient, forgiving, and learning how to fix psychological issues within a dog. But she isn't just a dog; she is MY dog, my buddy, my Mama Mia.

Feels something like an Alien

2009-11-09T15:50:00.002-06:00

When you get married, things change. Some people choose to change their names as a symbol of unity, becoming one flesh, one family. I did it to prevent my kids from having to endure cheering at their basketball games..."Yeah! Put it in the bucket, Bird-Pfister!" "Bird-Pfister, Bird-Pfister, defense, defense!" It was just the nice thing to do.

I had to change my name on my bank account, credit card, drivers license, social security card, and other important accounts, like my Facebook profile. Surprisingly, most name-change applications inquired about employment. The bank lady actually asked me TWICE about my job. Usually, the painful exchange goes something like this:

"Where are you working?"
"I'm currently unemployed."
"Oh, I'm sorry." (said with much empathy/pity)
"No, really it's ok. I'm unemployed by choice for now."
"Oh. So, what do you...do?"

As in, how can you possibly contribute to society by NOT working?! What do you...do? It cracks me up. And then it makes me feel bad. So, in keeping with relishing and appreciating the time allowed by my unemployment, this post is dedicated to stuff I do, did, or have done lately that I would have not otherwise been able to do during a teacher's workday.

-gave moral support to a friend at 11:00am while she was applying for jobs

-baked bread for the neighbor who just lost her husband

-drove to Houston to see new nugget

-made applesauce

-found cheap couches on craigslist at 1:00pm

-carried couches into house at 1:30pm

-got couch cushions refoamed

-wrote a zillion thank you notes

-gchatted with a friend at work in crisis

-finished these projects:

Matt's arm warmers and 3 pairs of wrist warmers, goes well with unemployed status.

Sophie's sweater...she should be coming any day now!

I am dually proud and ashamed of this sweater. Proud because I finished it, ashamed because there are a lot of unexplained bumps and holes.

Things I will do in the future:

-complete job application.

If Bruno says it, it must be True.

2009-11-06T16:41:00.001-06:00

My good friend, Bruno, often tells mini-stories that are kind of unbelievable and then ends his statement with, "No, really. It's true." He is from Brazil and I think they like to tell the truth in Brazil. While chatting with him online today, he wrote: If a good cook is too thin, you can't trust her food. In my quest to be a good, respectable cook, I will NOT go jogging today. Baaaaaah! The idea of me being 'too thin' has never entered my mind before today, but he is my friend and I must heed his advice.

Thanks, Bruno. I think I'll go start cooking dinner!

note: Bruno is my very first Brazilian friend, and the only blue eyed Brazilian I know. I assumed he was Scandinavian when we first met, and thought he was lying to me. I should have known better.

Me - "What? You're Brazilian?"
Bruno - "No, really. It's true. I am from Brazil."

See? They always tell the truth!

Jog Blog

2009-11-05T22:29:00.000-06:00

Since jogging alone is not a social activity, mentally stimulating, or plain entertaining for me, I like to have some company; my little green second hand iPod. Today was a little different. While ~~running~~ jogging around my newly discovered lake route, I took out the ear piece closest to the lake, as if to try and hear what the lake was saying. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that? My iPod was turned up too loud." I think it said something like, "You should get out more."

Talking to Rosa is now an hourly occurance. Frankly, I think she understands me, which also means she is learning the full extent of just how nutso her Human is. Case in point; when the Hershey's squeezy bottle refuses to give up it's last tablespoon of chocolate, I open it up and stick my finger in it and pretend it's a bowl of brownie mix. I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT AND SEE SOME NORMAL PEOPLE. The real problem? Matt just laughs when I talk to my cat or shamefully lick the last bit of chocolate from the bottle. And I laugh at him when he rounds the kitchen corner looking like this:

It makes me laugh so hard whenever I see it. He was training for the Northern Blizzard Smog Jog. OR He was working on our fireplace and didn't want stuff in his lungs or his eyes. The result?

No wait, that's my applesauce...which was also very enjoyable.

The fruit of his hard labor was this:

So maybe my days of solitude aren't so bad; a warm fire, knitting goodies, and eating applesauce. I'll see what the lake has to say tomorrow.

Falling for Fall and Color

2009-10-20T15:27:00.002-05:00

Autumn always brings out feelings of nostalgia for me; the smell of freshly fallen leaves takes me back to treasured trips to the "Patch" with Mom to pick out the best pumpkins, weirdest looking gourds, and witness the projectiles of the pumpkin cannon. And we mustn't forget the caramel apple stuck between your last 2 molars that kept the memory of the visit alive for weeks.

Ah, the Pumpkin Patch. It's like a form of (dare I say it?) worship for me. It is a recognition that summer is Over. Days of grilling out with friends late into the night, laughing around the bonfire, drinking cold fruity refreshments, and warm breezy bike rides are Gone. To visit the Pumpkin Patch is to acknowledge this End, and to welcome the Beginning; backyard football games before the light fades, homemade soup and bread, and laughing around the fireplace, drinking hot chocolaty beverages. While at the Patch, I give thanks for the beauty surrounding the End and wonder if our End will look as brilliant and beautiful.

After a 2 year absence from the Patch, I was back to a new one without Mom but with a new husband and 2 neighbors. We picked pumpkins and apples and welcomed (tasty) Autumn.

The Copper Street Brass Quintet also gave some respite from a cold day of transitions (changing my name-gasp!) Their Color Project Tour concert was warm, refreshing, and full of beauty. Matt even commented afterwards, "Wow, that was really different!" (I think he expected to be bored at a brass concert!)

It may not have cured my transitional blues, but it certainly helped me give up hope for one more day in flip flops. The sweaters are being unpacked, the arm warmers are being knit, and the soup's on.

Words from People I Love

2009-10-16T13:56:00.005-05:00

In place of my words and pictures (half of these photos are taken by Souba or Court) here a few snippets of recent funnies and lovies* from some of my favorite girls...

Dedication
I really need you guys to all make lots of noise and clap during our encore. Al

I pulled my bull horn out of storage to blast along to the beat...and I have my pleated mini-skirt. Courtney

Peace

I hope your newly wedded bum is enjoying every single second of it! Jen

Obsessed Fun

Where are you??? I'll admit I'm been stalking your page and blog a little bit... call me! I want to be phone friends!!! Call me!!! Emily

Sunshine

You make my days bright!! Love you MOM

*Posted without permission. :) Love you too.

Love, love, love...Bum bah bum...love, love, love...

2009-09-21T20:03:00.006-05:00

As a result of Two People Falling in Love, a few things recently came to fruition. After a year long cross-cultural, cross-sea engagement, surrounded by friends and family on a beautiful September day, Matt and I exchanged our vows. It was perfect, with one exception; one of my brothers could not be there because of a different "fruit."

After a great honeymoon in Mexico, I hopped into the car with Mom for a long drive to Texas. Waiting for us was a warm bundle of gurgles and grunts that kept Adam from walking me down the aisle. At first glance, I decided Collin was probably worth missing the wedding, and I fell in love, again.

At a friend's baby shower, her mother shared her thoughts from when she was pregnant with her 2nd baby (which turned out to be be TWO babies!). I will paraphrase..."I couldn't imagine how I could love ANOTHER baby, when I already loved my little family so much! But I did!" She went on to express her amazement at how we never really run out of love; the more people in our life in need of love, the more we have to give. I thought that after spending so much time with and loving my family, my already existing nuggets, and my new husband, there was NO WAY I would feel strongly about another nephew. Oh Young Grasshopper, you have so much to learn.

I love him, so much. With a (gas-induced) grin like that, how could you NOT love him?

Oktoberfest in September

2009-09-12T09:14:00.004-05:00

An evening with friends is only bettered by Oktoberfest beer! Friends Al and Tim hosted the 1st Annual Oktoberfest Tasting and not being a big beer girl, it was better than expected. Grading is usually easy for me since I'm a teacher, but it was hard to rank each one, especially the first one, and I got a new appreciation for the judges at music festivals. If you're the poor student who has to play first for the judges, know it's not your lack of talent that got you that middle-of-the-road score, it's because you're first.

productivity; a product of laziness

2009-09-11T14:17:00.004-05:00

I did not run today and since I failed to throw out my mirrors yesterday, it is definitely both a 'fat' and 'bad hair' day.

The bright side, and YES! there is a bright side, is that the wedding programs are finally being printed aaaaaaaaaaand the guest book is also on it's way to the 'almost presentable' category. Procrastination really does suit me.

The other bright side is that there is still time to run, fix my hair, and enjoy this beautiful day. Yay!

blog request

2009-09-10T11:52:00.003-05:00

I posted this on my facebook status today and Greg, my former boss from Luther College requested I start a blog with my 'thoughts from running'. OK. :)

saw an albino squirrel on my run today and wondered if he knows he is different from the other squirrels. unless he has a little squirrely mirror in his nest, probably not. then i figured we should all throw out our mirrors and we'd never have 'bad hair' or 'fat' days.

There ya go, Greg. Let's just hope tomorrow there is running in which I will wonder some more. I'm feeling kinda lazy.

Rosa never has a fat day and every day is a good hair day. She doesn't need a mirror to KNOW she is pretty. She also knows the window is dirty. Like I said, feeling lazy...

Stealing from an old Lady

2009-08-21T15:52:00.005-05:00

I feel like I just robbed a bank, or a yarn store, more appropriately. After a pretty terrible 2 days, the weekend outlook is brightening, thanks to a lady who loved to knit, craft, and create. Details of my crappy days are not important to this story; this is a story of unexpected gifts.

In the midst of a pathetic and undeserved pity party for myself, I thanked God for my friend who gave me extra napkins at lunch (because soup after a load of Novocaine is just a bad idea) and only laughed a little. Is the root of the word and main ingredients of Novocaine related to cocaine? Because I don't see why anyone would EVER do cocaine if they had been to the dentist. She also taught me how to "M1R" and "M1L" (insert knitter gang sign here ____) and then assured me that although "St st" did not, in fact, mean "Stuper Stitch" I could call it that if I wanted to.

At the end of the party, Rosa jumped on my face and poked me in the eye with her wet nose so I thanked her, too. "Get over it," she says. "Let's play. Meow." So, before I could sit down to type, we had to play Rosa's throw-the-toys-and-I'll-chase-them-but-won't-bring-them-back game, which might be more fun for her.

This morning I was gifted with a man who asked me to watch his computer while he went to the bathroom. The end. Just kidding. We chatted and I was able to share with him some experiences from Korea and the mission trips in Boracay and Bangalore. A photographer recently interviewed on NPR described photo opportunities falling into her lap as "gifts from God" and I felt the same way about this man. A special conversation in an ordinary setting and crappy week. Thanks.

I was starving for perspective this week, and as it turns out, I did not get it. However, I did get a box from a garage sale. Craigslist has never failed me, and the promise of "knitting and crocheting items" sounded like a good idea. A box of yarn stuffs, a ton of needles, and packet of 1985 knitting patterns later, my soul felt mended. The woman who's crafting empire I was taking over had died earlier this year. Her nephew was selling her life in increments of $1 and 75cents stickers. Proudly hauling my box out of the sale, I asked her name; "Avis," he said. "Hmm, ok, I'll think of her when I knit."

So thank you, Avis for your passion for creating pieces of love for your family. Thanks for keeping some of it for me, too.

Minnesota Pride, sort of

2009-08-17T17:20:00.004-05:00

I guess I'm a Minnesotan. Or am I? Do I really have to claim a state? My driver's license says I'm a resident of the Land of 10,000 Lakes. My birth certificate says I was born here. I drive around a vehicle that has a Minnesota license plate. Ew.

Despite the relief of coming home to a place that smells likes Christmas rather than trash, it has been harder to embrace my new home than I imagined. Some people in my new neighborhood could use a lesson in manners and a time-out..."Don't even think about coming out of your room until you have picked up all of the trash you threw in my yard and you have something to say that doesn't involve the f-bomb." I feel the same way about some people in this country, but that is for another blog.

As I'm getting ready to move into this place, to be someone's wife, to really dig in the ground and plant some roots, there are things that I am beginning to appreciate; my new neighbor, Mike, always stops to ask about wedding plans and our bike rides, give me advice about living in an urban area, and always accepts our invitations for some beer and conversation. My friends are making it easier too; Emily from high school has quietly forced me into some new knitting projects, and Emily from college helps me dream about home improvements. My newest Emily in Korea sends emails and facebook messages to let me know she misses me. And MY Emily, related by blood, had her first day of school last week. She can tell me all about it in person in one month, when she walks down the aisle as the flower girl at our wedding. (The 'in-person' part is the most exciting for me.)

This summer contained birth, death, marriage, and divorce. Some of these things are by choice, others are not. I choose to be a part of this neighborhood, to plant flowers and my heart in this state. It will take some patience (like when I have to explain to a nice lady that Korea, is in fact, a developed country and comfortable to live in) but I am committed. Watch out North Minneapolis, Meredith Bird chooses to love you.

Levi, the smallest and newest nugget

Brandon's bride

Nuggets

The oldest nugget

Rest before the Rush

2009-05-20T19:50:00.012-05:00

Christine and Dah Hae in Myeondong

In times of transition, times such as now, I'm not sure what to do. I want to spend time with people who are important to me here because it's uncertain if/when our paths will cross again. At the same time, there is a need to foster relationships back home in preparation for my old "new life." My coping mechanism is this; laugh with friends for as long as possible, then retreat to my couch for some TV. Unfortunately, this is not conducive to packing or grading. Surely those things will find their way in the schedule in the next few weeks. Needless to say, I'm in the midst of a whirlwind of exams, events, and emotions.

Retreating to my TV has recently involved overindulging in a series called "Men in Trees" about Marin, a New York writer who finds herself in a small town (full of men) in Alaska. At first she is overwhelmed by the simplicity of life in a village, but then she discovers she can breathe better, think better, and write better. It is unexpectedly inspiring to watch Marin's journey to find herself and what is most important. Cheesy, I know. I LOVE it.

Annette walking in the mountains

Maybe it's the lack of quality English television in Korea that pulls me in to Marin's story. But maybe, just maybe, it's because my hope for returning home to the beautiful Midwest will mean simplicity, and simplicity might bring clarity. When you've been somewhere long enough, normal daily events slowly complicate things. The yellow dust is no longer an exotic phenomenon but rather a real annoyance that poisons the lungs and causes you to sputter, cough, and stumble around with watery, itchy eyes. Simply said, nothing is clear in a yellow dust storm.

Lots of people clean and organize their life's spaces for clarity. Maybe I'm in need of a spring cleaning of countries. I think I will put this one away for a bit; maybe for good, maybe for another season, and pull out my old one. It may be rusty and a little unfamiliar for awhile, but we'll get used to each other again. That is when we see most clearly; when our eyes fall upon what once was familiar, but with new, recovering-from-the-dust lenses.

Enjoying a springy, smoggy day in Seoul

I love...

2009-03-28T09:05:00.003-05:00

I love my mom.

Mom recently came to visit and other than our important coffee breaks and much needed catching up, I am most grateful for her new experiences in "my" country. She may not have caught the travel bug, but I found that she responds to unexpected adventures the same way I do. After she left for home, an email arrived in my inbox; Mom was stuck in Japan due to the FedEx crash. When she finally got home, after 36+ hours of travel, she informed me that she had a fun time with her new friend Lucy from New York, stayed in a swanky hotel, and ate some great Japanese food. I'm happy to have inherited her "go-with-the-flow, adventure awaits!" gene.

I love these brownies and the friends who appreciated the method of their delivery (carefully placed in ziplock bags and then in recycled granola bar boxes so as not to get squashed on the bike ride to the party).
I love Thai soup (and winning the cooking game with myself.)

I tried something new today and it (sort of) worked out. I have a weird tendency to ignore ingredients and instructions in recipes and usually end up eating something that is more purple, crunchy, or _______(insert descriptive food word here) than it is supposed to be. But today...fish sauce, prawns, and lime juice were not as important as one might think! My first attempt at Tom Yum Goong, minus the goong, turned out to be quite tasty. Yay for me!

I love this soup because: 1. It tastes like nothing else. It's SOOO good that while in Thailand, I ate it at least once a day 2. The broth is made from lemongrass, garamond, and prawn heads and shells, which you have to pick out meticulously before eating. My ritual was to pick out all the pieces of crap before I could eat the soup (this was also to save my tongue, as they serve it scorching hot).

I love her.

Rosa always finds a way to love me during the day, usually while I'm on the computer. I've tried to capture her snuggling because I'm really the only one that ever sees it and today she finally let me take her picture. She nestles her head on my shoulder and purrs, just enough to let me know she's happy. It doesn't matter that she's a cat; love is love and everyone needs it.

Particle Physics or Providence?

2009-02-01T05:20:00.005-06:00

I'm currently debating whether to start my new bible study homework or work on tomorrow's lesson plans; both promise to unveil the origins of the universe. One would be learning about providence and the other an act of trusting that providence.

I've recently been inspired by a new city, a new blog, and a new bible study. I like them because they inspire me to learn more. A friend of a friend has a tattoo on his ankle that says in Latin, I am still learning. It reminds me that its ok to take time to process information, to make connections years later, and to continue to learn about yourself and the world. Maybe this is why I'm still learning about particle physics; I didn't quite get it the first time. Maybe this is why I'm still learning about God's providence; I didn't fully understand the first time, or the second time, or any of the times...but that's ok. After all, I am still learning.

For Lunar New Year, 8 of us went to Hiroshima where the first atomic bomb used in warfare was dropped. It was a place of great sadness, greif, destruction, and hope. Usually when a city or country is attacked brutally and seemingly unfairly (a large percent of the casualties were children, no warning, etc) the natural reaction is to "Get 'em back! Revenge!" The response from the Japanese people was much different. Of course they surrendered, I'm sure they didn't have much of a choice. But they did have a choice to change their hearts and make something good out of something really really crappy. They could have vowed to get back at the US, could have fostered feelings of hate...there are a lot of things they could have done in the aftermath of evil. Instead they chose to turn the other cheek; they chose peace. They strongly felt and still feel that evil repayed with more evil is not OK. There is no political point or pointing fingers here, I simply feel a miracle present when people can take their personal pain and grief and turn it into hope for the rest of the world. Amazing.

The museum and monuments were hard to digest and the trip could have easily been overwhelming, but 7 of my girlfriends were present. It was chaotic and fun and most of our time was spent eating, laughing, or trying to make sure no one wandered off...you can see in the picture above how focused we were....

Particle physics won tonight. I am ready to teach about leptons and quarks and even a few bosons and ferimons. It may have taught me a lesson in providence though. I've recently been plagued with the nesting urge, now stronger than usual. Many thoughts run through my head like, How great would it be to quit my job, have some babies and spend my days knitting and cooking! Then I read a chapter about force carrier particles and antimatter and my heart skips a beat...maybe God wants me to teach awhile longer. Maybe I have more purpose to fulfill in this role...Rosa, on the other hand, doesn't care much about these things and thinks it's time to go to bed and uses all methods to convince me to stop, at least for tonight.

Particle physics and providence will both be on my mind this week. Maybe they shouldn't be looked upon as completely seperate ideas in my life. Rosa has no comment. It's bedtime.

stuck in the middle

2008-12-17T02:33:00.004-06:00

As an instinctive peacemaker who hates conflict, I have often taken the place of the mediator in my family, in groups of friends, in the classroom, and in the locker room of a dramatic 9th grade girls basketball team. I am beginning to feel that God has been preparing me to be a mediator for Him in those same areas, but I don't feel ready yet. Isn't that what He's all about, though?

God loves to throw us into the fridge to show us that we WILL find a way out before we freeze to death. Its dark when the fridge door closes, but we know what it looks like; we know how many shelves are in there, how many half used bottles of ketchup and salad dressing are in the door. We even know how to maneuver to avoid the month old container of moldy soup. We can manage. Our biggest problem is our fear and panic because we refuse to sit still for a minute, take a different perspective, and trust that whomever threw us in there believes we are smart enough to get out. He knows we can handle it and even left some cheese, extra potato salad, and a coke to give us a boost.

It just seems lately that I'm allergic to the "cheese" left in my "fridge". This is funny to those of you who know that I am nearly allergic to dairy. My figurative cheese is giving me a literal stomach ache.

What if the things I've been provided with here won't last or stand up to whatever is waiting for me back home? I'm unsure I'll be able to kick the door open in enough time before becoming an apathetic ice woman. Just watching the news is overwhelming enough to send me to bed. I'm not depressed, I'm not even discouraged. It is just fear of the fridge, which can sometimes be pretty powerful. Then Rosa reminds me to look at my pretty Christmas tree and get over it, it's Christmas. (She is very pleased with the festive decorations this year). "I mean, really," she says, "Jesus was born in a barn; you can at least muster up some hope and a little faith." She's pretty smart, for a cat.

I think I'll take her advice and just keep walking in the middle and enjoy Christmas.

Korean Physical Therapy

2008-11-15T06:52:00.004-06:00

(The beautiful birthday bike ride that I couldn't go on because of my stupid ankle!)

Three minutes into an intense staff basketball game, my ankle rolled during my famous drop step left hand hook. It crunched, I flopped, and the ball doinked off the rim. Ah crap. This was the beginning of an adventure into Korean physical therapy.

At the orthepedic clinic, my ankle immediately received an exam, xray and ultrasound all for around $40. The doctor told me to avoid exercise for 3 weeks, gave me a wrap, and sent me home.

I've always been curious about acupuncture and seized the opportunity; Emily and I headed across town to see a "rare man" (as he describes himself) to poke me with needles. I thought acupuncture was an ancient, exotic, and calming way to treat injuries. I didn't realize it involved ancient, exotic torture. So far, I have been given 7 injections, many needle pokes, ultrasonic massage, and 2 different types of electric shock therapy.

As much as I squirm during the therapy, its working. The bruises and swelling are nearly gone and my walk is almost normal. I have not had to wait more than 10 minutes to get treated and 3 sessions cost under $100. I'll take Korean torture, I mean therapy, any day!

Instead of biking, I got to take pictures. It turned out to be a pretty good day anyway!

Beautiful Korean fall!

I feel the Earth, move, under my feet

2008-10-30T04:27:00.010-05:00

Bright and Rainy

Life in Korea is often surprising. Usually I am surprised by people. Tonight my yoga instructor walked around to fix our posture, stretch our limbs more than we thought possible, and then patted us on the butt to affirm the location of our pain. I collapsed from my pose laughing. Sometimes I forget that its totally acceptable for the teenage boys to climb all over one another and I'm suprised when I see them snuggling or walking nearly arm in arm. I'm often surprised at my own inability to remember words for things such as 'plate' and 'soy sauce'. But Wednesday brought a new kind of surprise.

Yesterday morning in the Land of the Morning Calm, the land was anything but calm. After wishing my 1st period class a good day, I sat down at my desk to read some emails. Students scurried noisily through the halls and were caught up in the whirlwind that is the high school day, filled with drama, laughter, and some learning. Just then, I heard a low but audible rumble and felt the floor shake. No sooner than I could mutter "WHAT THE....?" it was over and I mustered a shriek of joy; I had just experienced my first earthquake!

Even though it was small (the students in the hallway didn't even notice) it was still an earthquake and I survived it. It was the first time I have ever felt the ground MOVE underneath me. I forget how powerful Earth can be, without warning or having to ask for permission from anyone. I felt small and powerless for a second. Then I remembered Wednesday was snack day and headed to the teacher workroom for some apple pie.

The following are a few moments captured recently where I felt something powerful for a brief second before moving on to the next frame of my life.

In Seoul there is a canal that runs through the city and while strolling along on a rainy Saturday, it didn't feel like a city of 20 million people. It felt a little more like home. Until I looked at the picture and realized the old man behind me was staring a little too hard. Moving on...
The kids were awesome at our last Cross Country meet and they finished strong. The bonds of a team are tight and irreplaceable, it's hard to describe them. I was feeling sad about not coaching anymore and then I realized my FREEDOM; after school and Saturdays are mine! Moving on...

I am constantly oohing and ahhing over Jacob, this nugget who belongs to my friends Jaci and Mike. He is a happy kid and I can only hope my future nuggets will be this great. Towards the end of a 45 mile bike ride last weekend, the Korean triathelete surprised me with saying, "You have a good, ah, how do I say...sculpture." I think that means an athletic build with strong childbearing hips. Thanks! Moving on...

Melons and Melancholy

2008-10-06T07:31:00.006-05:00

pretty field in Osan

Purina in Korea!

Every once in awhile, I turn into Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh's friend who is often a victim of misfortune, unintended exclusion, and absentmindedness. Eeyore doesn't seem to mind when things don't go his way, and instead of making a big deal about it, he continues to saunter along in his melancholy. I admire Eeyore's sense of self-acceptance, but wonder if he lacks a bit of joy in his life. I was definitely an Eeyore today for no apparent reason. A wave of doubt and sadness hit and pulled me back out into the sea of grumpiness. The source remains unidentified, but leave it up to melons and yoga to rescue me.

Fresh fruit is very expensive, so I often get $14 worth of frozen "tropical fruit" from Costco to ensure my food pyramid is not lopsided. During my melancholy coma, I made smoothies and delivered one to a friend upstairs. Without even knowing my current state, she met me at the door and exclaimed, "OH! I have a verse to share with you...it's so good!" and it was. It reminded me of the depth of God's love and how it extends farther than I can imagine, even out to the sea and down into the coma. It doesn't matter if I feel it or not; it's there for me to take whenever I like. Much like Korean grocery stores where the sample servers smile and let you come back as many times as you like, God smiles when we come to Him and lets us come back as many times as we want for His free love.

I was greatly encouraged and sauntered on into the next day with a peaceful heart.

Yoga class was later that night; its right after dinner time which is hard because if you eat before class, you feel awful, and if you don't eat all you think about is food while you're stretching. Yoga is a great place to try and focus your thinking, calm your mind, and relieve stress. Our instructor told me I had a pretty face today. That helped ease me out of the melancholy a bit. We followed along as she skillfully stretched in painful positions on the ground, and that's when it happened. The moment where all of my stress, all of my worries were thrown into the wind; someone in the 2nd row farted. This has never happened before so you can imagine the roar of laughter throughout the class. Luckily, there were only women so no one was too embarrassed. I never thought something so simple and natural could take a feeling that is so unnatural and complex and replace it with joy, but it did.

Thank you, Eeyore, for showing me how to be OK with my situations, thank you Christie for sharing with me God's love, and thank you, person in the 2nd row. You saved my week.

Corean Comforts

2008-09-29T08:40:00.010-05:00

(I AM a bad speller, but I was told that back in the day when kimchee was still buried in the ground, it was spelled Corea.)

There are a lot of things that make living abroad bearable during the times when you miss home so much you want to fall on the floor and throw a fit. Rosa makes me feel at home with just a glance and a purr. The pretty ajuma at the mandu restaurant certainly gives me a feeling of being home. Here is an excerpt from a note I jotted down after a recent stop at her tiny 14 seat eatery:

I just ordered 'chol bok ee' but only have a vague idea of what I'm getting. The only thing I know for sure is that it is without meat, because she remembers me and remembers I'm not a fan of meat. I'm probably her only patron who doesn't eat it! She is patient with my broken Korean, usually throws in extra pickled yellow radish for Emily, and is always kind. Coupled with her bright pink lipstick, her patience and kindness easily make her the prettiest ajuma in Corea. That is more than enough to make me confident in ordering this mystery meal. She just came over to my table, glanced at this paper and smiled; she doesn't know what it says and I am glad because we already understand each other enough.

The last few weeks have been really comforting in a strange way; being involved in the lives of high schoolers is a very special and delicate privilege. I forget how sensitive we are and how much love and encouragement we need throughout all of the different seasons of life. There is something very comforting in knowing you're needed. I feel needed by some of my kids here and that doesn't just make it feel like home, it is home.

Chacha and Jennifer were in my small group for Spiritual Emphasis Week

Jiwon trying to keep warm before cross country practice

Jean was my super senior group leader

Varsity girl with Coach Barrigar before a race

Zuba Pants for Life

2008-08-19T06:58:00.009-05:00

Many people wondered when it would happen. When? Who? What will it take?! When will she make up her mind and just settle down? Is all of this world traveling necessary?

Here's the answer folks; just have a look at him. This is my fiance, Matt. Apparently, dressing in 80's clothes and posing as Ferris Bueller is what really makes my heart go all a flutter. He went from being my ex-boyfriend to my future husband in a matter of hours in this getup.

(Ferris Bueller, Flashdance Farewell party for me, 2008)

Its no wonder we are supposed to be together, because apparently the night he decided that I was The One, I looked like this:

(American Gladiators and Red Riding Hood, Halloween 2006)

In all seriousness, we are engaged and are really excited about it. We will have to wait a long time to be together (literally together in the same room, state, and or continent) since I'll be teaching in Korea until June. I very much dislike waiting for anything, but this is one of the things in which I've recently had a change of heart.

It has taken me a long time to want to give up things that I love for someone else. I'm pretty selfish most of the time. I love this job and these kids (and the convenience of East Asia travel!) and it will be tough to leave. A wise friend of mine here once told me, "You know Mer, when the time is right, God will change your heart and you will be ready to compromise those things." He was totally right.

I've gotten pretty comfortable in my single life and think about how weird it will be to have someone else in my house ALL THE TIME. Or how strange it must feel to discuss with someone before making a purchase like a plane ticket or another cat! It's pretty funny when I think of how settled I've become in my own way. I'm not worried though; God has always provided for me when He puts me in new places or new situations. I've been given patience and grace when I didn't expect to have it. I've been given friends who have inspired me at the right moments to take risks and some who have encouraged me when I most needed it. And now I've been given a willingness to compromise my swanky single status and lifestyle. What a pleasant surprise. :)

(Matt and Mer, post kickball game 2008)

Assa!!

2008-07-16T11:15:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine sent me a facebook message that said, "Meredith, you're famous!!" After years of whining about never making into a Luther brochure, I made it into a Korean tourist video! I feel like a rock star! This was actually one of my top 5 favorite days in Korea. Apparently, my friend Adam and I looked like we would be up for dressing up in weird traditional costume and pitching a line for Korea. Heck yes! Assa!

Red Cedar River Reflection

2008-07-07T22:55:00.004-05:00

You said to write when I think of you.

I still think of you
and look at your picture
and picture us with
all of our wishes and
wish to believe that
your non-believing wasn't
the only straw because
I was your one and only
and you were my favorite
and surely we were
meant to be until
we said what we really meant.

Oh the Places You (might not) Go

2008-07-07T21:41:00.013-05:00

I was recently reading "Oh the Places You'll Go" to my niece, Emily, and remembered what a genius Dr. Seuss really was. His words of encouragement are catchy, fun, humbling, and true. I'm sure Jesus had some pretty sweet rhymes too, they just didn't get recorded. I have been inspired and encouraged by both of these men and it would probably do me some good to learn more about who they were and how they were able to produce such encouraging words.

Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I think it's important to be built up by others and to have great expectations for our lives, but the reality is that we won't always be happy and we certainly won't always be on top of the mountain. No one ever promised us that, and if they did, they were lying. What we are promised is hope and a fulfilling future.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

I forget this a lot. When everything hits the fan (usually because I threw it up there myself) it's easy for me to forget that even though I mess up, even though I might take a longer route than most, these promises are still for me. My friend Emily reminded me of God's love today - it doesn't stop, ever, no matter how much we throw at the fan. It's hard for me to imagine this love, since I love my nuggets more than anything else in this world but start to think of ways to drug them when they wake me up at 6am every day. "Aunt Merry, can I color? Can I watch cartoons?" asks Emily. "Aunt Merry, EVERYONE is awake except for you," says Zachary. "A slight dose of NyQuil...." thinks Aunt Merry. Then I get a kiss like this, and the "unconditional" love quickly returns.

A good friend of mine is losing her Grandpa to cancer. This is her first encounter with losing someone she loves. Both Dr. Seuss and God have something to say about this.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
.
.
.
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

Romans 8:38
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
.
.
.
will be able to separate us from the love of God.

I'm not the best at balancing things in my life. Life is not a rollercoaster, it's more like a pendulum, or the swinging pirate ship at the fair. The ups last longer than the downs and you get a big stomach ache somewhere in-between, but the laws of gravity (and God) promise that we will keep swinging.

So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.

Leavin' on a midnight train to Georgia

2008-05-27T06:52:00.007-05:00

My friend Emily likes "airport world" where everyone is in transition, no one is really a local, and all cultures are mixed up in one big pot of high perfume prices and strong gas smells. On a recent trip from Seoul, I realized my reflective refuge is the train station.

While boarding or departing and walking along the platform I always catch a glimpse of myself in the long dark windows of the train. My reflection triggers a realization of who I am, who I am wanting to be, and how I'm always moving, always changing. I look, see myself, see myself moving along each window, either getting closer to my car or closer to the exit. Maybe I'm on my way to an adventure or to see friends. Sometimes it's not clear where I'm going, but I'm always moving. Wherever I'm going, I always grin at my reflection.

I don't mind traveling alone. It gives me just the right amount of time to prepare for what is to come, or reflect on what just happened. Most of my time alone is silent, with the exception of the Korean man who sits next to me and speaks all of the English he can remember. Without that involuntary quiet time, which could easily seem lonely, I wouldn't fully appreciate my journey or my destination.

Train stations give me quick results; I don't have to wait around for hours to get where I want. This is maybe a reflection on my personality, but I'm ok with that. I can wait for the next train if this one is full. I can be patient. I can even take the bus if I need to. I won't buy any dried squid on the food cart racing down the aisle. I can wait. But I prefer to be moving, on my way to somewhere.

Pretty soon I'll be home in the states, but only for a few months. I wonder why I was made with such a strong desire to be in constant transition. Maybe He knew that only when I am moving places, changing scenery, am I forced to be quiet. In that stillness, He is there, moving me, changing me and I am grateful.

Grace, Patience, and Coffee (and a picture of a cute Korean Kid)

2008-05-09T01:05:00.003-05:00

Min Jong, the barista, is my newest favorite person in Korea. I might even call her my newest friend. She is my favorite because every time I walk up to the open window of her coffee shop, she smiles and exclaims, “Macchiato!” I nod. Then she says, “Mocha?” I nod again. She knows what I want and what I’m ordering for Emily. She gets really confused when I only order one thing. She often gives me extra stamps on my coffee point card.

There is no greater feeling than to walk up to the counter, crowded with Korean college students waiting for their coffee and have Min Jong look over them and recognize me. It’s like we’re friends that haven’t seen one another for a long time. I don’t know much about her except that she is 25 in Korean age (23 in the rest of the world’s age system) and that she has never been rude, short, or unfriendly with me. In fact, she seems to be genuinely nice to everyone. In all of the places I’ve been to, people like her are not a majority.

The first time I encountered Min Jong, it was clearly her first week at the shop, possibly even her first day. I ordered 4 different coffees for my friends who were teaching and in desperate need of a caffeine spike. It took Min Jong around 15 minutes (and this is a generously short estimate) to prepare these. It wasn’t because she didn’t understand what I wanted; the language barrier is pretty small with things like “Moh-Ka. Lah-tay.” She was just slow. SUPER slow. The previous barista was super fast and the drinks were always delicious. This was not off to a good start. When I finally got my coffee, it was lukewarm (again, generous estimate) and I’m pretty sure I was overcharged. Usually in this situation, I’d start to feel a little ripped off and mad that this lady had wasted 20 minutes of my time and stole my money. Surprisingly though, I smiled and walked away with my 4 semi-warm, overpriced coffees. I’m not sure why I decided to go back, but the next time, Min Jong had sped things up a bit and the coffee was a bit warmer. Within a week, she was a pro.

What if I had given up on Min Jong the first time? What if I wouldn’t have been able to see past my own small inconvenience? And where did this grace and patience come from? I’m so impatient I burn marshmallows on purpose just so I can get to the s’more quicker. I rarely have grace for students who want extensions and even less grace for people who have hurt me.

My whole life has been filled with people who have shown grace and patience to me. It might finally be rubbing off. When I was learning how to drive a stick shift, my mom let me mess up over and over again until I got it right. She never once yelled or became impatient – she actually laughed until she cried. PATIENCE. Even when I stalled in the middle of a busy intersection and dropped the f-bomb, she calmly told me what to do and helped me start it up again. GRACE. I know these qualities are not from us. We are commanded to be patient and have grace, but we can only know what that looks like when it is given to us.

If I would’ve given up on Min Jong, I probably would have found another coffee shop and bought some great coffee at a reasonable price. But now, I have all of that AND a friend who lights up my day with a smile, broken English, and extra stamps.

Fill me up, Beulah Home Buttercups

2008-04-15T23:54:00.012-05:00

Its been almost a month since I last blogged. I've been processing how to write about a number of things. I've found that words are often limiting when used to express feelings and experiences, so I'll look to some pictures instead and hopefully you can get your own feelings out of them!

This is Beulah Home in Bangalore, India. Every morning I walked down the stairs to be greeted by three rows of children ranging from ages 3-17. Each one of them would say, "Good morning, Auntie!" It was my favorite part of the day.

My group was the middle group. I'm guessing they were from grades 3 - 5. These kids are from a different part of India and are unable to speak the local language so they can't go to the local school. They're waiting for us to give them English lessons. Their speaking skills are ok, but their writing skills are limited. The materials they have for school are pretty slim, and they use everything they have until its all gone.

I was nervous teaching this age group because they're a mystery! I had no idea if their English was good enough to understand me, if the "essential questions" would get answered, or the 'objectives' of the lesson. At one point, I'm pretty sure God was laughing so hard that He barely got out between chuckles, "Ms. Bird, relax. Just go love them."

On the last day, the young boy on the left wrote a story that was 3 pages long, (small font) front and back in 30 minutes. He is a really creative and bright kid. I wonder what he could do at a school like TCIS.

Every evening before dinner, all of the kids would sit and wait for us to come back from our afternoon tea. We would descend the stairs, only to be greeted again with, "Hello, Auntie!" The rest of the kids had returned from school. There were probably 100 kids total. They can sit and wait like I've never seen before. Only the smaller 3 year olds would get antsy and run around every now and then.

This is our praise songs and bible stories time. I was in charge of the music, but really, the kids already knew a million praise songs. Camp counselors would lose to any of these kids in 'name that tune.' I was really nervous to teach them songs because 1. I didn't know the songs that well and 2. Its just a little frightening to be in front of 100 kids who want you to teach them something cool. As it turns out, they just looooove to sing. Period. They sing with so much joy. I cried the first time I heard them sing because it was the most beautiful music my heart had ever felt.

The second day there, I was on the roof waiting to go back down for some lessons, and I heard "Blessed be your name" coming from the wash up area. It was the song I taught them! So maybe my science approach to teaching music works after all! My favorite line is "When I'm found in the desert place, when I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name." These kids are going to have to walk through a lot of deserts and wilderness in their life. I hope they remember this song.

Stickers and balloons. I've never seen anyone have so much fun with these simple party items. They had the excitement this science nerd would have if you put me in a room full of new science lab equipment. They went nuts. One night I set my camera down on a table. 20 minutes later, it was covered in stickers. Every time I look at the hearts and stars on my camera, I remember the little fingers that placed them there.
My other favorite part of the day was the end before bedtime. Each day included English and Physics lessons (yes, my nerd information sharing quota was met, even at a children's home in India!), crafts, games, songs, stories, and dancing, so everyone needed rest. As a single person, I don't get a lot of physical contact. This is hard for me, since one of my Love Languages is physical touch. At the end of every night, I was hugged more than I had been hugged all of 2007 combined.

I now know about real love. Beulah Home is about love. Pslam 23:5-6 My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

My cup is still overflowing.

Korean spring makes people do crazy things....

2008-03-17T07:25:00.005-05:00

"How does it feel when things are going your way, you pick a lucky number every day..." Spring has arrived in Korea and people are going crazy. They're jumping all over the place, Johnny is trying to break into the Canadian Embassy to get home, old men are hula hooping on top of Bomansan mountain, and girls are trying to do yoga outside. I love it. I love the quiet roar of children playing in the grass outside of school, the excited chatter of teenagers slowly strolling along the sidewalks, and the sunshine that breaks through the yellow dust and smog to reach me at my desk.

I also love the countdown...only 82 days until I am sipping an iced soy mint mocha at a Dunn Brothers or Caribou Coffee house with my friends from home. "Another airplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know, but I wanna come home. And I'm surrounded by a million people, I feel so alone, I miss you..." from the song Home by Michael Buble. While you're reading this, friends and family, I miss you right now. And now. And now. And I love you now. And now, and now too! Its so cool how love doesn't have physical limitations or laws like gravity and friction.

The countdown also means I only have 82 days left with a few people I have grown to love here since they won't return in August. I guess God never promises us a given amount of time with those we love. I wonder how cheated Jesus' best friends felt after they found out he was leaving. It probably didn't take them too long to realize that their lives were better because he had been in it. So even though it feels like it's too soon or like I haven't had enough time, I'm thankful for my friends here and how they have blessed and bettered me.

In 2 days I leave on a mission trip to an orphanage in India. Our length of stay is short, but I hope that our depth and length of love can be infinite, like His love for us (which again, has no boundaries...so cool!) and our hearts will open up to pour out His love for the whole week. There is no conservation of God's love, like conservation of matter or momentum. His love can be created but not destroyed. Love isn't like the world's energy source; it's not something I have to worry about running out, because with God, love is like a bottomless cup of hot, chocolaty, soy mint mocha goodness.

Let's just fill our time with joy...

2008-02-28T07:36:00.003-06:00

Last night with our German boys

Hottuck is looking good...

Fancy pantsy meal, fit for the the Queen

Hottuck is not looking so good....

There are only 3 months until school is out. 101 days until my flight back home. I know this because my friend Kara is counting down. Most of our online chats end with something like, "I can wait to seeeeeeeeeeeee yoooooooooooooou! I miss you soooooooooooo much!!! Only x number of days!! eeeeeeee!" I have a feeling there will be a lot of squealing when she picks me up from the airport.

I have mixed feelings about going back home. Tonight I was 10 seconds away from a panic attack from a wave of feelings of homesickness and fear of returning to something that is completely different that when you left. Luckily, my stomach was so famished it grew a brain and decided an omlette was the solution to the problem. Who argues with their stomach? While comforting my panic with an omlette and an episode of Friends, I was thinking about my friends and my old life back home. It seems very far away and forgotten. I don't exist there anymore - people have taken my place in so many different areas. I have been replaced. I am replaceable.

No one ever wants to think that they are replaceable, but really, we are pretty replaceable in most aspects of our lives. People will take over our jobs, apartments, relationships, whatever it is we leave behind. This is nothing to get really worked up over; if the world wasn't able to replace us, then it would stop running after awhile. Who wants that?! Not me! Replace me! Hurry up!

My German friends left for Germany last week. They were the first of my friends here to leave. I'm excited to have friends all over the world, but unfortunately, that means that I must be somewhere they are not. This is the 'nature of the job' I'm told, but it doesn't make it easy to accept. What I can accept and believe is that God provides us with replacements and often, refreshments, when needed. He has a way of sending us the right people at the right time. After my attack, my friend Emily called out of the blue to say hi. While talking to her, my friend Phil called. See? Refreshments!! If I can only hang on long enough to wait for them.

The bright side of being replaced is that YOU get to replace someone else and in that process, you learn a lot. Lately, I've been embracing my new culture by learning how to cook! Some of it's good, some of it would not be placed in the good category. Hopefully, by the time I go visit my old life, only to be faced with a massive amount of unexpected and unwelcomed change, I will be able to calm everyone's panic attack with some tasty Korean food. If God is as funny as I think He is, I'll even get a chance to feed my replacements. How refreshing.

In and out of Asia

2008-02-12T01:59:00.000-06:00

Favorite Days of Asian Fever

2008-02-09T23:59:00.000-06:00

I'm in love with Asia, or at least I am when surrounded by people who make Asia come alive. My friend Don, for example, takes any phrase I'm learning in Korean, and tells me where it came from, where to use it, the literal translation, and 3 more phrases that have the same format (I never remember those). I recently learned how to say, "Die!" or "Don't die!" and "I want to die!" Don makes this come alive for me when he tells me that Koreans use this same form when they are out drinking and exclaim, "Let's drink til we die!" Oh, very useful Don, thank you.

Don is from California like my friend Sarah. Sarah puts a California twist on everything. She wears 4 pairs of leggings because she insists on wearing skirts to school during the cold Korean winter. You can see her "sledding" in a skirt above. I believe this was the first time either of my Cali friends had been on a frozen body of water. The Korean version of sledding is to sit on a piece of wood and push against the ice with long ice picks. They allow their children to do this alone, without safety goggles or helmets. Sarah's excitement of sledding on a frozen river made the Korean folk village experience one of my favorites.

Another one of my favorite days in Asia was in Tokyo with 6 of my friends (1 old, 4 semi-new, 1 brand-new). Derek, a friend from middle school (who sat behind me in band and next to me in French class) is now a pilot in the Air Force. I wonder if they would let him fly those helicopters if they knew how much he used to like to watch WWF professional throw-down wrestling. It was strange to feel so at home in a foreign place simply because I was with someone I grew up with. Derek made Tokyo feel like an old pair of running shoes - it was like we had been strolling around old sacred temples and shrines for years together, talking about who's dating who, expressing our excitement to finally graduate high school, and telling jokes about our friends. Of course, our actual conversation was closer to who's married to whom, recalling how many times we scared Asian children with our looks, and telling jokes about our high school friends. :) Tokyo felt closer to home than I anticipated. And Derek was taller and more man-ish than I anticipated.

"So, the cross is always ready and waits for you everywhere. You cannot escape it no matter where you run, for wherever you go you are burdened with yourself. Wherever you go, there you are." —Thomas a Kempis, 1440

'Wherever you go, there you are.' Even when changing countries, cities, jobs, pant sizes, I still need friends to help me deal with myself. Where I ended up this time is pretty nice considering God gives me new friends everywhere I turn, even on an island for honeymooners! At a beach bonfire on Jeju Island, I met Dennis, Reinhard, and Martin, three Germans who also happened to be living in Taejon. Seeing Korea from a German perspective is just funny. Hearing Korean with a German accent is even funnier. One of my favorite days was a trip with the Germans to a folk village and a walled city. We topped off the night with some intense games of darts, table soccer, and Jenga.

Emily and Will are two friends who make Korea more fun just because they are Emily and Will. Will is from Utah and speaks fluent Korean. Emily is from Minnesota and wants to speak Korean. (sometimes she just walks around town saying whatever word she has mastered that week like, "Odie? Odie?" which means, 'Where? Where?' or "Norang tahmujee!" which means 'Yellow radish!') Will's hair is like mine. Emily's hair is crazier than mine. Will forgets his earphones are in and yells on trains. So does Emily. Both are fun people to travel with, as you never know what will happen.

Kirstin and Tim are also two people that make traveling fun, as you never quite know when they will make you laugh. Kirstin can take any phrase like, "Awwww come on you guys!" and use it in Japan where you'd never expect. She also loves exclaiming things in Spanish, while in Korea or Japan. Tim keeps the conversation alive at all times with facts like the water between Japan and Jeju is the brightest sea at night due to the vast number of shrimp boats. I am grateful for both of these friendships. Asia is just more fun with laughter.

There is still a lot to learn about the history, culture, language of Asia. I have found that my most enjoyable learning moments have been with my friends. Discovering Asia, myself, or God is always more meaningful and fulfilling when discovered in the company of good friends. Wherever We go, there We are.

Dumpster Diva

2008-01-20T01:32:00.000-06:00

I think dumpster diving should be considered one of the love languages. For me, dumpster diving is a way of showing myself that I love myself so much and want to stay true to my thrifty side, that I am willing to rummage through stinky trash in hopes of a rare treasure of a bookshelf, old chair, table, or maybe even the occasional musical instrument. It can also be a way we show we care about others. Today in the trash, I found a (very ugly, but practical) table for a friend. It was heavier and dirtier than anticipated, but I eventually got it home. I bet if Jesus lived in an apartment, he would dumpster dive.

My pastor talked about love today. Love is Jesus' biggest message. Even with the most difficult and complicated problems, it should be easy to act if we can just remember everything boils down to love. A Christian school principal from Kenya said that the two rules for his students is 1. love for God 2. love for people. If his students can remember those, everything else falls into place. It would be really great if the rest of the world could act under such simple rules. The problem is that we don't remember. We forget so quickly how lucky we are to be loved so much. We forget that everyone around us should feel our love too. A man from my school returned from a mission trip to Borneo. He said, 'It's not enough to write a check and say a prayer.' He meant that you have to show up and show them who God is through your love. The monkeys in Bali managed to show more love to one another than I usually show to most people, much less to God! Argh. I am quite a disappointment at times.

Many Balinese are Hindu and have various rituals to honor their god. One of these is to bathe in a holy spring. Each spout has a different purpose; to cleanse their soul, heart, mind, body, brain? At any rate, by the time they're done, they're pretty much wrinkly raisins. Its kind of like the water park in Wisconsin Dells. Everyone goes there for some water fun and relaxation! You can also see the offerings made at each water spout; offerings of flowers, money, incense, and rice. Apparently rice is the food choice of gods. If I were a god, I'd at least request some Oreos or cheesecake. Come on Bali, Santa gets better treats.

Bali reminded me that I don't need to give anything to God other than my heart. Everything else will fall into place after that. No ritual, no amount of holy water, no offering, will unlock the love He has for me - it's already there on the table, with a side of kimchi, ready for me to dig in. I just have to show up and eat.

On an island in the sun...you "none meatly lover"

2008-01-11T00:08:00.000-06:00

"Men and Women's Cutting Room"...You might think this is a place for self mutilation or perhaps a place where men and women can do arts and crafts, cutting out snowflakes and the like. You would be wrong. Its a hair salon near my apartment, at least that is my hope every time I walk by this place and giggle. It never seems to get old. Fortunately for me, Bali, much like Korea, has difficulty with the English language, so I was able to get my laugh on every day. I especially liked the notes at temples stating that menstruating women were not allowed to enter. How you gonna enforce that one!? Hahaha!

Bali was incredibly beautiful, warm, and welcoming. I woke up the first day staring into the roof of my mosquito net. When I remembered where I was, I squealed with excitement and scurried down the steps of my elevated hut out into the jungle of palm trees and fun that was awaiting. I ate so much fresh fruit I could have turned into a mango. It's amazing how much more alive I felt while I was there. Maybe it was the sun, the ocean, the vitamin C, or maybe it was the escape from any real responsibilities. Whatever it was, I felt really alive. My sunburn also reminded me that I am very much alive. Crap. Equator rookie.

A swim in the ocean is also another way for one to feel alive. I was enjoying an ocean swim with Lily, the daughter of the owner of our home stay, (Lily is 5 and a peach. She brushed my hair my first morning in Bali) when some waves knocked me over (and over and over) on some very unforgiving rocks. I'm still alive. Another crap! Ocean rookie.

Once I had the sun and rocks figured out, the last thing to learn was how to bargain in the market. My friend Emily has this down to an art, or maybe even a science. She offers the most obscenely low price, they laugh and counter, she yells the same price, they continue to laugh, she yells even louder and will not stop until they either kick her out of their area or give her the item for that price. One particular bargain was with 2 women over a straw bag. Emily got it for something like 2 dollars. They turned to me and sweetly laughed "1,000 for drink?" which meant, "Can you give me 10 cents for a drink because this lady is CRAZY!" I don't think they knew what had hit them.

Rosa was less than amused that I had been gone so long. Apparently she hid under the sink every time my high school neighbor Abby came to feed her. She reappeared after 10 minutes of my return home and has not left my side since. She thinks its funny to lay on my head or chest when I'm trying to sleep and recover from vacation. I think I caught some Balinese flu or something. Or maybe its the lack of ocean, sun, and green that is making me sick. We'll see if it gets better or if I have to go to somewhere tropical again to feel alive. For now, I'll enjoy my new Indonesian music, decorations, and suntan. "No problem!" (this is the Balinese phrase for absolutely everything).

O Holy (Korean) Night

2007-12-16T08:14:00.000-06:00

Some days I forget where I am. I get caught up in grading, busied by schedules and meetings, and errands. Then I go to the corner store because I need to wash my clothes and I'm out of detergent. I end up leaving the store not quite sure if I've just bought detergent, fabric softener or toilet cleaner. Then I remember where I am. I was in a funk when I went into the store. When I left, I was out of the funk because I was laughing at my "soap" or whatever it was. I am thankful for this strange sense of humor I have been blessed with by God. I also think it's funny I am currently eating pb & j straight from the jar. YUM. Does God care about pb&j? I think so.

Next year I'm bringing more decorations. My candle, tree + 1 ornament, and angel are very nice, but Rosa has asked for at least a stocking next year. She's very disappointed in my Christmas spirit this year. I try to remind her it's not about presents and decorations; she just scoffs and me and returns to her very important apartment alley watch from the window.

I can't grade anymore. I am tired. I am homesick. I am way too white and pasty, even for Korea. I am still joyful. :) (see previous post) I am (trying to be) patient. I (try to) trust God's winterwonderful plan for me. I am storing up these things in my heart.

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining...if the world can wait a thousand years for a Savior, then I can wait a few for things I want too. :) I am joyful....

I'll be (missing) home for Christmas

2007-12-10T06:10:00.000-06:00

My definition of 'home' has changed a bit since I've been in Korea. I find myself feeling at home in very odd places. We went to the nore-closet after Emily's birthday dinner. The nore-closet is like the norebang (karaoke room) but smaller. Its a closet where you pay around 50 cents to sing 2 songs. As you can see, it is amazing. There is nothing that says home more than being shoved in a closet with your friends and singing Ska8er Boi.

I had Thanksgiving dinner a few weeks ago at the Pinho's apartment with a bunch of other teachers. The Pinho's are a nice family who are always laughing. It was funny to look at my new "family" thanksgiving picture and see how different it was from the Bird family traditional picture. My TCIS family is significantly shorter. :)

Starbucks definitely makes me feel at home with a peppermint soy mocha. Yum. There are exactly 2 Starbucks in Taejon and I know how to ride the bus to both of them. I don't know where the post office is, where to find hooks to hang my Christmas lights, where Korean women over 5'6'' find jeans, but dang it, I know how to ride the bus to Starbucks.

Some of my students, like Heeju, definitely give me a sense of home because they remind me why I'm here. It feels like home because it HAS to. If it doesn't feel homey, I'm just another teacher here for a 2 year traveling opportunity. I don't want to be that teacher. I like Heeju because she is joyful all of the time. Even when she is tired or confused in class, she remains joyful. I want to be like that here - even when the coffee lady messes up my order because my Korean stinks, or when I am angry with a Korean but can't communicate it, or when I am so bogged down with work there isn't even a good place to start...JOYFUL.

I cried a few times this week. Sometimes it was for me because I felt sorry for myself for picking this job and choosing Bali over my family this Christmas. Sometimes it was for someone else like my brother who lost Josie, his sweet dog who he has loved for many years. I cried because I don't play with Rosa enough and yet need her so much. I cried because I couldn't be there for my brother. I cried because my mom misses me and I miss her. I cried because my stupid Vonage phone is broken and can't stay in any sort of loop, no matter how small, back home.

I wonder if Jesus cried this much. He traveled all over the place and had to leave His friends and family. He didn't have email or Skype. He had that Holy Spirit thing going on and the power to do miracles, but no email! How did He survive?! If Jesus can wander around without a cell phone, high speed internet access, or a facebook account and still remain joyful, then I think I can figure out a way to find 'home' here. :)

Nothing is Impossible

2007-12-01T07:32:00.000-06:00

This is the motto of one of my newest friends in Korea. It is his dream to be the kick boxing champion of Korea. He trains at SungMMA gym (which means Star Mixed Martial Arts) with a man I know only as "Captain". It is also Captain's dream for 5 of his newer fighters to make it professionally. He considers anyone who trains in his gym to be family and treats them as such. I experienced this warm Korean way of life after giving in to my friend Lloyd's request that I go to a party at SungMMA to meet his friend who is (direct quote) 'an agressive, muscular Korean man who doesn't speak English.' Not to mention unattractive according to Lloyd.

'But why me?' I asked.
'Because you're exotic and I think you would put up with him,' replied Lloyd.
'Thank you?' I was a bit confused.

You can see how excited I was to go to this party.

But this week has taught me two things;
1. Trust Lloyd with a grain of salt. 2. Roll with the punches.

At the party, I was introduced to a handsome, very nice, muscular Korean man who spoke some English. Nice job Lloyd. Captain encouraged me and my friend Emily to come back the next day to train. We said we would. We did. As a result, I know how to choke Emily 3 different ways and wrap my legs around her head like an octopus. We had been suckered into a jujitsu class. Captain was more than happy to (loudly) speak English directions for us. Note: I am using 'English' very loosely. Every 26th word he spoke was English. Apparently, we were a hit because we showed up on the gym's web page the following day. Nothing says "Wow I'm cool!" like an over sized bright blue jujitsu outfit.

I liked the outfit so much, I went back the following day to get a kick boxing lesson. I showed up only to be informed the guys were leaving for an hour to go weigh in at another gym for their upcoming tournament. On my way out of the gym they yelled, "Where you go!? Come with us!" So I did. It took a minute for me to realize that I had hopped into a car of a Korean man I had just met with 2 other kick boxers that didn't speak English and we were on our way to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what.

On the ride to destination X, I found out more about the driver and didn't feel so bad for jumping into his car. I also found out first hand what is meant by 'weighing in.' The fighters have to make a certain weight to be in the most desirable weight class. This means you have a gym full of very hungry, strong, 90% naked Korean men waiting to get on a scale. Not only was I the only white person in the gym, I was the only woman. No one seemed to care I was there, maybe because they were so hungry. This country really needs to make up its mind about nudity. As Emily put it "If you're outside, you need a bronze shield of clothing, but if you're inside, being naked is just fine."

This is only the beginning of my kick boxing adventure.

Upon our return to SungMMA, I was given a personal lesson by Captain and his protege, Woo Hyun. Apparently, I have "Bery bery good porm! Powerpul punchee!" (very good form, powerful punch). YES!

Fast forward to Saturday morning. By 9:30 Emily and I were on our way to watch our first kick boxing competition starring 4 of SungMMA's fighters. Much to our surprise, the competition actually featured each of Korea and Japan's top 2 kick boxers. Of course, we made it on tv because we were the only foreign women in the building. The highlight of the afternoon was the warm up coat of Korea's champion: shiny with sequins, red tassels, and pink shorts. He lost, to a Japanese guy who showed up in an ugly t-shirt.

Captain took us out to dinner and pointed out that I was sitting next to the former heavyweight kick boxer champion of Korea from 2 years ago. Maybe I should have figured that out when he drove us to dinner in his Lexus.

After a long meal of broken English and Korean, Captain convinced a few of us there was really no way to end a great day, except to norebang (Korean karaoke). He was right. While singing the infamous Titanic theme song 'My Heart Will Go On,' upon the request of 4 Korean kick boxers, I once again realized that God's plan is so much greater than mine.

Unexpectedly, He gave me new friends who I am very grateful for (Dah Hae, a girlfriend of one of the fighters, is such a blessing!), a new work out (I WILL fit into that bikini before traveling to Bali!) and rest from thinking about work. It's easy to forget about the 7th day and the purpose of rest. I didn't even know I was in need of mental rest until this weekend. It's amazing how God can take a seemingly undesirable proposition from Lloyd and turn it into new friends, new experiences, and the opportunity for rest.

Ms. Buh Duh

2007-11-25T07:49:00.000-06:00

My students think it's funny to say my name with a Korean accent. It comes out "Buh Duh". Or they like to call me Ms. Seh, which literally means 'bird'.

While in Seoul this weekend, a number of funny things happened. One of them involved this bird.

MTV's Real World - Korea

2007-11-15T07:00:00.000-06:00

I tried to cook, really I did. That pile of black stuff is actually rice and was pretty tasty. Apparently you are supposed to soak the rice for an hour and then drain it before cooking. Since I cooked according the recipe on the back of the rice bag (ie, looked at the pictures and guessed what the writing meant) the bit about the hour soak n' rinse slipped right by me.

Tonight Rosa was getting irritated that the maid hadn't come by to pick up that MESSY room so she hid for awhile. It seemed as if she escaped into the wilderness of my apartment building but was discovered comfortably cuddled under the sink.

My life is settling into the common cold, the quiet walk home, the much needed escape to the coffee shop, the familiar greeting from the old man selling fish pastries, the calming smiles of my yoga instructor (she thinks its funny one of my legs is longer than the other), and the constant nagging of uncorrected quizzes in my bag quietly reminding me that work is never ending until June. I'm strangely ok with the settling. Usually I hate knowing change isn't around the corner to make things exciting. Today I'm just hoping something stays the same for at least a week! Am I getting old? Maybe. Am I ok with that? Absolutely. At least for now. Give me another week. :)

Changing faces of KorRosa

2007-11-06T07:22:00.001-06:00

Rosa is a funny cat because she is needy. Sometimes. She has been particularly needy the past 2 weeks. She would immediately start meowing whenever I sat down, when I moved from room to room, while brushing my teeth...basically, all the time. She meowed at me until I picked her up, loved on her a bunch or played with her for awhile. This seemed to work until a few days ago when I noticed her water dish wasn't what you'd call 'clean'. I cleaned it out, filled it up again with filtered water (Korean water is apparently not what you'd call 'clean' either), and she hasn't whined for attention since. Her only source of hydration was probably making her feel sick, thus the extra love needed. I'm a little sad because while Rosa was having a rough few weeks, I was too and needed her just as much as she needed me. Do I crave attention because I also have a source that is unclean and is making me sick? Much like my dirty dishes that have been whispering "Clean us....clean us!!!", no one is going to clean it out for me. Where is the maid? Seriously?!

Korea's mood seems to change with the scenery. The 4million dollar golden Buddha here was incredible to see, but strange at the same time. I felt like Moses after coming down from the mountain...are people really worshiping a gigantic golden idol? The mountain we visited was called Songnisan. The rock pile is not a child's idea of fun, but prayer rocks. I'm not sure if they pray while they're stacking them or afterwards. I can imagine a monk carefully making his pile of rocks, placing each one so gently, and with the concentration of a skilled Jenga player, nudging the last one on the top, while another monk sneaks up behind him and yells "Boooooddha!" Hahahaha!

I thought it would be a nice serene, quiet hike through the woods on a beautiful fall day, but there were probably 8,000 people there! Where else would 46 million Koreans go on the weekend to have fun? Of course I would expect to see a million people in downtown Daejon, but not in the mountains! The only refuge we got was when we took a much less traveled path to a hermitage where the female monks live. I didn't see any, but I bet they have killer quad muscles.

Lately, comfort has come from duk guk. Its a rice patty soup (see previous blog picture) that burns the top of my mouth because it is so hot, but it warms my spirit, maybe because I think the women working in the restaurant made it just for me. Tonight after eating my duk guk and finding a vendor that sells Korean pancakes (syrup baked in the MIDDLE!), I was happy with a full belly. And then I saw him. A man with a full blown mullet in a salon, styling a Korean woman's new cut. He was fantastic...they way he styled her hair reflected his carefully crafted mullet and insanely tight vest. I stopped dead in my tracks and said, "I need that man to cut my hair." Thankfully, a friend was with me and lured me into a makeup shop where I sweet talked a lady into giving me free lotion.

Until I feel the urge to go back to my mullet hair professional, I will stay at home and play with Rosa even if she doesn't need me to clean out her dish today.

Flowers, Food, & Fall

2007-11-03T10:11:00.001-05:00

Fall fall fall....fun fun fun

2007-11-03T09:50:00.001-05:00

Korea - where the elephants and buffalo roam?

2007-10-22T08:15:00.001-05:00

There's no particular reason why the picture of a myself and a buffalo was posted other than I am having a crappy day and it makes me laugh. It was taken in the Black Hills of South Dakota 5 minutes after I claimed that anyone who suggested there were real buffalo in the Hills was a buffoon. After this one, we saw 3 more!

Today was not what you might call a good day, but it wasn't horrible. It's amazing what a lack of sleep will do to your face. I looked like I might bust out into tears all day because I was so tired. It's days like this that make me question whether or not I should have children - the thought of having this almost-in-tears-face for 18 years terrifies me.

I have also questioned this week whether or not I'm supposed to have children or even get married. Would it really be that bad? There are plenty of ways to 'have kids'; in the classroom, my brothers' children, kids that I coach, my friends kids, the neighborhood kids. All of these children need parenting and it shouldn't have to come from just one set of parents. The cheesy quote about how it takes a village to raise a child, really has some value in it.

There are lots of things that should be written and shared right now, but my face hurts from looking so sad and tired all day. I should really give it a rest or it might freeze like that guy's face in the back row. That picture makes me laugh too. The figures are Buddha's personalities expressed by different statues, except the one in the middle is so out of place! I wonder if that's what I look like to Koreans....

This is a day when it would be awesome if God would follow me into the locker room with His clipboard, throw it on the ground, get a little loud and angry with my lack of trust and patience, and then give me a pep talk. He would point out a few specific mistakes I've made, give me some suggestions and then say, "Fix it. Make the adjustment! Go get 'em!" And then I would be really inspired and fired up and run out of the locker room while God pats me on the back, calmly gathers up His clipboard and goes back to watch me try to play better.

But He did give me a pep talk through 1 Timothy 6:11. "But you [Meredith], belong to God; so run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness." 'Don't forget to use your head fake before you drive the lane for a layup. Finish hard, but lay it up soft, like an egg.' That last part is paraphrased from memories of coach Randy. :) It's all good advice.

Quick, Like a Dust Bunny!

2007-10-13T09:24:00.001-05:00

Since I've been here, I've rearranged my apartment at least 4 times. There are only so many ways to arrange a couch, chair, desk, bookshelf and 2 tables. I might be running out of ideas. Every time I move a piece of furniture, a sweet little dust bunny waits for me. This also seems to be a theme of my life at the moment. Every time I attempt to rearrange parts of my life, there are dust bunnies in the form of unfinished business, hard feelings, brokenness, and wasted time. It is frustrating to have to clean them up, but at the end of the day, I like my newly decorated trailer, I mean, apartment. Rosa likes it too. She is curled up in my lap and casually tilts her head back to look at me and purr. She probably can't wait to run around and make more dust bunnies. I think she just smirked at me.

I am not in any way agreeing with Buddhism, but if you have ever watched them worship, you would notice their focus. They're not concerned with how many tests they haven't graded yet, how much sleep was lost due to last nights 9pm coffee, the guilt they feel because they didn't do their Korean language homework this week, their feelings of shame because they cheated out on their devotional time, and they certainly are not worried about their biological clocks exploding next month when they turn 26. Of course they don't worry about these things, they're monks. I don't worry about those things either. Right. And Buddha is a size 6 and a natural blond.

I'm reading a book about cleaning out the dust bunnies in our lives so that we can have a closer relationship with God. I like it because it gives clear instructions. I don't like it because the author makes it sound so easy! Step 1. Get rid of distractions such as your tv. (this took me a total of 5 hours because a side affect turned out to be the oh-so-necessary rearranging of the rest of the apartment!) I'd like to go back to Udo (island pictured above. I snorkeled at the bottom of that cliff! Thanks again, DJ for saving my life...) where they don't have a lot distractions. I can't even write this freaking blog without being distracted. So basically.....I'm on step one.

Despite my minuscule spiritual progress, this week was very encouraging. It was SEW, or Spiritual Emphasis Week at TCIS. During the week we had mini concerts, devotionals, fun and fellowship, and a speaker from the states gave a message every day. He liked to say, "Precious teenager....." and then tell them something really wonderful about God's love. I liked that. Over 40 kids accepted Christ into their hearts. It was a really cool thing to be a part of.

I procrastinate sleep because I know my new Korean words will be running through my head - my name in Korean is 'Meh-ruh-dee-suh Buh-duh'. Kinda sounds like Melodies Butt. Great. 'Golgi Shilayo!' (Meat, I don't like it!) I am thankful though, that the dust bunnies under my bed (the ones that make my eyes itch and prevent me from breathing properly) have been taken care of, at least for tonight. Tomorrow, instead of getting the ones inside of my trailer apartment, I'll clean out some dust bunnies in me. Jal Ja, Precious Friend! :)

Korea is Kool

2007-10-01T06:42:00.000-05:00

I have compiled a short list of things that I love about Korea. You may or may not agree with me. Tough luck, go eat some kimchi.

- Etiquette bells in the bathroom. Fun!
- The joy Koreans get from watching slapstick comedy
- There are 8 pieces of gum in a pack instead of 5! YES!
- The man next to me can't read what I am writing in my journal and why I'm laughing writing it
- You can buy triangle packs of rice and tuna. YUM.
- Old Korean men (most of them)
- Standing only room on long train rides.....NOT!
- Ajima visors - like a sun visor and a welding cap all in one!
- Korean kids. They are so cute and love to practice their English. The nugget above was a friend we met at Jejudo.

There are things I don't like about Korea too, but will wait until I'm really angry about it to write it. For now, I'll just be thankful for the things I've grown to love about this country.

Mashesoyo!

Alias in Korea?!

2007-09-29T08:03:00.000-05:00

My spirits were just lifted when I stumbled across an episode of my favorite tv series of all time; Alias. The main character is Sydney Bristow, a double agent for the CIA. Sydney's heart is so pure and she cares so deeply for the people around her. She is constantly fighting evil but often gets deceived by those that she trusts. Yet she never stops trusting and believing in people. There is a little Sidney Bristow in me. I'm glad she made it to Korea too.

This week was Chusok, Korea's Thanksgiving. A huge group of mostly new TCIS staff decided to head off to Korea's Hawaii - Jeju Island. The weather was perfect and the people were amazingly generous and kind (except for the bus driver who didn't like my tube top and suggested in Korean that I wear Korean clothes. I suggested he make some that fit me, along with some other things. He's lucky he didn't understand English.)

During our stay, we spent one night in Udo, a very small island off of the main island. After a long walk around the island in the dark, a truck picked us up and took us to a seafood restaurant. A few in the group didn't want seafood, so the waitress ordered chicken from a different restaurant!! When we were finished with an amazing meal, the Catholic owner gave us a ride back across the island to our pension. The next day, we woke up early to watch the sunrise. It was very refreshing.

The rest of the day was filled with a jog around the island, snorkeling along the rocky wave ridden shore (thanks DJ for saving my life a few times) riding scooters (thanks DJ for nearly taking my life by running our scooter into a COP car) and snorkeling again along a much calmer, yet forbidden shore (who knew you're not supposed to swim near a boat landing? Not me....I can't read signs written in Korean...) I also made a new friend, SungJik who works on the island. He is also Christian so we had lots to talk about. It was a wonderful day.

The most unexpected part of my trip was the relationships that were strengthened and developed. I was nervous about traveling with so many people - group travel usually induces a gag reflex for me - but I have learned that God shows up in places where He is least expected, like Dunkin Donuts. I don't even like Dunkin' Donuts and a bagel with cream cheese really shouldn't take 15 minutes to make. But God used that time and took previous feelings and impressions I had about someone and gave me a chance to change them. I am very very grateful for that chance.

I am also grateful for the chance to read peculiar quotes on a coffee shop wall and rock out at the norabong with my new friends.

It seems that Rosa was pretty mad when I got home because I was greeted with a hiss. She forgives pretty easily though and is currently watching Alias - it is definitely her favorite show too. More people should be like Rosa (both in the forgiving and Alias aspects).

To see more of the Jeju fun, http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=5134&l=1d340&id=514913255

Off to bed - only one more day of being thankful for Korean Thanksgiving. :)

Love to my meguks! (Americans)

$100 from Aunt Merry...These are a few of my Korean things....

2007-09-10T09:37:00.000-05:00

My nephew, Zachary, thought that it was his lucky day when he received a letter from Aunt Merry. In the letter was a 1,000 Won bill, except he thought it was $100. What a let down! Hopefully the froggie stickers made up for the disappointment. Personally, I think W1,000 sounds much better than $100...

There have been a few lessons God has taught me in the past 3 days. One of them involves a type of Korean candy that is a fusion of gum and taffy. It comes in Strawberry and Apple. It is delicious. Lesson #1: Don't eat the entire row of them at once. Just don't.

The second lesson was a little tougher to grasp. LISTEN. A friend of my mine revealed a truth that I needed to hear, but it stung. He spoke it out love and kindness, but I was too preoccupied with being defensive and scared; I didn't realize how important his words were. Instead of appreciating his honesty, I closed my ears and turned away. DUH. I'm not quite sure why I still do this, but it's annoying and is going to burn London bridge to the ground if I don't watch out.

God's heart is huge. I'm continuing to learn this and have to convince myself of this every day. Some days (like this morning) I don't feel like there is room for me to fit in His heart, but I always manage to squeeze in there (kinda like that Korean who ALWAYS manages to sneak in front of me when I'm standing in line at Home Plus or the train station.)

A good friend of mine lost her step dad yesterday. He was very important to her and was one of my substitute Dads. It is hard for me to be here and feel so helpless. I'm reminded that even though I am far away, love doesn't need a physical medium to travel (unlike sound waves). This also leads me to believe that love certainly shouldn't stop when we die. Love is like the radio station between here and heaven. It won't cease when our physical bodies are gone, and as long as we're tuned in, we can get that love station loud and clear. Poor analogy? I like it... "This is 100.7, your direct link to heaven." (You have now been exposed to the classroom humor of Ms. Bird) From an Aaron Shust song, When the world crashes down around me, I know You'll be there to pull me out from the rubble. My friend probably feels buried deep in the rubble. I just wish I could be there to help pull her out.

God provides. For me, He's provided friends who make me think (and who I hate a little in the process), friends to help me make sense of the other friend's advice, friends who teach me Korean, and friends who remind me who I am, even if we've only just met. He also provided me with a washing machine that sings a happy song to me when it is done with it's wash cycle. This is actually very important because if I didn't get praised afterward with a song, I'm not sure I would even do my laundry...

Tomorrow will be a better day, tomorrow I will water my plants, and tomorrow I will play with Rosa instead of staying up late to write a blog. :)

"Lettuce" thank Him for our Food...

2007-09-04T05:32:00.001-05:00

I was just about to take a drink of water from a mug I left out last night, but realized Rosa probably dipped her paw in it sometime during the day. She does this. She also thinks people food is scary and won't touch it. She wants to touch it, gets really close, and then backs away like it might attack her.

It feels like college all over again, except with more sleep, less stress, and less English. I get home late from "studying", make some Korean version of fancy ramen noodles, discover that it will have to go without tofu, as it is 2 weeks expired. I don't have any of my own furniture, my dishes are probably from "EMart" and if my windows are open, I can hear the dude talking on the phone in an apartment across the alley. You might see my apartment in MTV 'Cribs' or perhaps on 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.' It's very glamorous.

This weekend I actually became Korean. I marched down to 'Kamikaze' corner (busy traffic, only blinking yellow lights) and found a Korean crush at the eyeglass store. I don't remember his name but he was so cute because he tried very hard to speak in English and say all of the scientific words during my eye exam, especially after he found out I was a science teacher. Eye exam by cute Korean man + contact lens + saline solution = 20,ooo Won. When I went back to pick up my glasses, he told my friend in Korean that my hair made me look much prettier this time. Thank you, cute man who speaks little English.

I took Mr. Glasses' comment to heart and got a hair cut. When going to a salon here, remember to bring a friend so you can give each other nervous looks while they're chopping off all of your hair. I got a Korean hair cut, which is actually very similar to what Americans like to call a mullet. Koreans can pull this off quite well but I'm not sure about this curly haired white girl. At least it was only 8,000 Won! I just watched a YouTube video of a Hillsong United song and the lead guitarist has a mullet. I feel a little better. :)

The last few days have been bittersweet. Friends at home are beginning to feel very far away, time with friends here is more limited, but at the same time, friendships are becoming more genuine. One friend and I had a great talk this weekend about how we think God wants to change us here. How refreshing it is to be able to open up to someone fairly new and not worry about whether they'll like you when you finish your sentence. I've very grateful God plopped some of these people in my lap.

I'm still thankful every day for my huge classroom (see picture above) for still having hair and being able to see well (see other picture above) and for being alive (every day I am nearly killed by a car or scooter). God is pretty good.

Too much meat, not enough flowers

2007-08-29T08:44:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to miss the nasty coffee smell my hair used to have after working at Luna Vinca. Tonight it smells like meat. After eating (salad for me, thanks) at a Korean barbecue for Kirstin's birthday, I now reek like a Texan with the meat sweats. Gross! All was not lost, as it was fun to sing Happy Birthday in Korean...except I don't really know the words, so I just sang a bunch of vowels loudly and it seemed to work.

I realized tonight why I think Rosa is so cool. No matter what she's doing (playing, eating, drinking, doing her duty in the litter box) she always makes things fun. Sometimes it means more work - like when she purposely sits behind a door so has to shimmy her arm underneath just to reach her toy. She also likes to shove her water bowl across the floor because its so much more fun to drink under the table. She doesn't care we're in Korea, she's going to have fun wherever she is! Her outlook helps me accept my apartment just a little more.

From the pictures, you might be able to tell my apartment is small. It's also shaped like a trailer. You can see from one end to the other with ease. I even have a shower/sink/toilet combo! (the toilet is behind the curtain, kind of like the Wizard of Oz). I can clean the entire bathroom with my shower 'wand'. And yet, even with such a small space, its messier than I'd like it to be. I can't imagine how this happened...

Warning, the following paragraph is not for the easily offended:

Tomorrow I get to meet the parents of my students. At the beginning class this year, I asked kids why they were taking Physics. It seemed like 80% of them replied with "Because my mom/dad is a Physicist." Crap. At least they'll get my dumb science jokes! I'll probably try to say something in Korean like "Hi, my name is Meredith. How are you? Nice to meet you" but actually end up saying "Hi, Meredith is a grocery store. She is right here. Sleep well, soy water, thank you!" (These are the only words I know.) Speaking of language mishaps...the other night at cross country practice, we played ultimate Frisbee. After the game, one of the other coaches was giving high fives to the kids saying, "Good game, good game, g-g, g-g." Whoops. FYI - if you're ever in Korea, 'Gi gi' means tits. YIKES!

Notes on things Korean

2007-08-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

I have decided to quit speaking Korean. Not really, but I've been super frustrated lately when trying to communicate. For instance, I asked my friend, Christine for the Korean word for water. She told me and I repeated it to our waiter. (this is a pretty simple word, sounds like moole) He looked at me like I was fresh off the spaceship from Planet Gyzone. Christine kindly ordered water for me. When I'm in a taxi and ask in Korean for 'foreigner's school' or 'Hannam University' they just say "Uhn?" Seriously?!!

I'm also going to pick a bone with Korean ATMs. Yeah, you read it right, I have some beef with the ATMs. After a longer-than-it-should-have-been cab ride (in which the driver insulted my Canadian/Korean friend's Korean grammar and then asked us if we were Russian prostitutes) I stopped by an ATM to withdraw some cash. Still recovering from the ride, all was well until the pin #. Apparently in Korea, you don't need to hit the Enter or OK button after you type your pin, because just as I hit OK, the screen changed to that big screen with withdrawal amount options. I just kept thinking, 'Crap...it had a five in it....it had a five in it...' It sure did. I heard bills piling up in the ATM like coins coming out of a slot machine. Mind you, there aren't any bills over 10,000 won. So 500,000 won later, my cab buddies looked at my wad of cash and said, 'Must have been a good night, eh?' (see prostitution reference above).

I love Korea, but dang it, their cups just don't cut it. Restaurant water cups are SO SMALL. Tonight I had to fill up my cup at least 9 times and I was still thirsty! It's only 80 degrees with 90 percent humidity but no worries, you can have a shot of water.

There is a little store on my way to school that has a big sign with a sun on it and it says something to imply that it is an early morning shop...except I've never seen it open before 10am.

I just called home and was reminded that my mom's answering machine still has my brother's voice on it with one option to leave Meredith a message...I haven't lived there for 3 years! I also tried to leave a message but the inbox is full because she never deletes her kids' messages. :) Cute.

So instead of getting advice from my mom, I called my Aunt Jeanie. She helped me reflect on how God has truly planted me here. I shouldn't worry about things like marriage, but should instead be praying for my future mate and trusting that God will introduce us when we're both ready. It's amazing how God directs you to people who tell you exactly what you need to hear. I'm so grateful for Aunts!

A few pictures above are from my walk home from school (the trash might be why it stinks so much) my apartment, my team for TCIS Family Fun Day, and Rosa and her window with a "view" (of the next building). :)

Oh Seoul! "I looooove you!"

2007-08-19T00:19:00.000-05:00

Our taxi driver in Seoul thought he would try out his English on 5 American ladies stuffed in his cab. "I am boy! You are girl! Good day! Good evening!......I love you!" He was probably 75 years old. We loved him right back.

Since my camera sucks battery life as quickly as I suck down my new found Aloe juice, my Seoul pictures will be arriving shortly via my traveling buddies' cameras. Until then, a quick description should suffice.

Seoul is big. Like London big. (I really have no idea how those two compare, but whatever.) To get anywhere, you have take a bus, take a train, or take a cab. Of course, instead of visiting historical sites or going to museums, we went shopping. However, I am thoroughly accessorized, at least for now. :)

On one particularly long, boring, hot, bus ride (who knew you can squeeze 800 people on a bus?) we passed a huge group of Korean swat guys gathered around a building. Apparently there was, or was going to be a demonstration which had the potential for being violent. There were at least 30 buses that brought all of the swat guys to the site - it was incredible to see that much security gathered in one area. We decided not to get off at that stop.

Most of our time was spent in the touristy district and the cultural shopping district, Insadong. There, Christine got chased by a tin man and Kirsten helped a man hammer out rice. I was interviewed in English by Harold, a nine year old boy who keeps a journal of all the tourists he meets. He even writes "At Insadong Market August 19th" at the top of his journal. Cute :)

Rosa missed me and I missed her too. Hostel bed are not the greatest, especially when you stay out too late - who knew Seoul never sleeps?

The pictures are from the Eagle's baseball game in Taejon. It was really fun because the crowd is as pumped up students at an NCAA Final Four Championship. They even have cheerleaders. Rah!

First day

2007-08-13T08:55:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day of school at TCIS. I didn't have the normal sleepless night before, but I did get a little anxious after waking up late, wishing I would have hired the cleaning lady to iron my clothes YESTERDAY, hustling to work to find out that my new shoes = new blisters.

My first class was a Physics class of 8 Juniors. Three boys thought they would be funny by trying to switch their name cards sitting in front of them while I wasn't looking. Teachers are always looking. I walked by and in one swift movement, switched them all back and said "Hm. Nice try." They replied with a roar and smiles. I think I won.

At the end of the day, my younger class was listening to me lecture a bit and the last bell rang during the middle of my sentence. I expected them to jump out of their seats, start yelling and run away. They didn't! It was crazy! They were all staring up at me, still listening, and I finished my sentence and dismissed them. I almost fell over from shock.

Overall, it was a fantastic day. Only 63 kids to get to know, only a few classes a day. It seems like a dream right now but I'm sure I'll wake up soon and the sunshine and daisies will be gone. For right now, I'm going to bed to enjoy it!

(the first pictures are of downtown Taejon, norabong (karaoke room!), me and Jen at the dirtiest bowling alley on the Earth, and TCIS high school)

Jal Ja

2007-08-10T09:04:00.000-05:00

When asked for the translation of "goodnight" my Korean friends looked perplexed. Instead of goodnight, they say 'jal ja' which means sleep well. It seems like Koreans are constantly wishing one another well. When you say goodbye to someone, whether you are leaving or they are leaving, each person wishes the other person to stay or go in peace. There are also situations where you tell people to "go do ____ (your job) well". It seems intentional and seems to mean more than 'goodbye' or 'goodnight'. I like it.

There is still a lot to do at school so I have to go in on Saturday. It's ok though, because everyone else will be there too, frantically planning, copying, and thinking that their first day just isn't quite good enough. Its funny that we spend so much time worrying about it, but who really remembers the first day of school anyway? It only sets the tone for the rest of the year, so I'm just planning on talking about how much fun the rest of the year will be. :) I can't wait to meet my kids.

At the end of the day, Korea still stinks a little, but I don't mind. Every place, every situation, and everybody has their own element of stinkiness. I can deal with a little trash.

Jah Ja ~

KOREA!

2007-08-09T09:01:00.000-05:00

I finally made it! I'm finally moved in and Rosa is casually laying on the floor in her new apartment. She likes the floors because they are slippery and toys are much more fun to chase. She isn't enjoying the view of the 'garden' outside or the apartment building that is so close she could jump from my window to theirs if she wanted. Rosa probably doesn't fancy the weird smell outside either, but we're dealing with it.

A few fun facts about Korea - you have to separate your food waste from your recyclables, and then the leftover garbage goes in a special "green" bag. Someone comes along and sorts it all but if you get caught with your food waste in your green bag, WATCH OUT! I'm terrified to take out the trash.

Personal space is something that I thought I've always been ok with - I don't mind being close to people. I like being close! Then I moved to Korea and got hip checked by an old lady at a department store and decided I certainly do have a personal bubble.

So far, I have discovered a few rules/guidelines for Korea:
1. Its ok to stare and point. At anything. You can even talk out loud about what you're staring at.
2. It is perfectly acceptable to play bumper cars with your body in a moderately crowded shopping area.
3. Don't mess with middle aged Korean women. It seems they hold the power around here.
4. Separate your garbage.
5. If you think someone will understand you because you speak English, think again.
6. Anything written in English has the potential of being jibberish.
7. Koreans are really nice.

The pictures above are of some new teachers, the view from 2 streets bordering school (notice how the businesses are stacked on top of one another), the high school, and two of my newest friends, Kirstin and Annette.

My new school is so great and my classes are so tiny, the support is wonderful, and there is a lot of spiritual wellness being emphasized.

I like my new home and I'm pretty sure Rosa does too. The jet lag has subsided, its nighttime, and we're both ready for bed.

Scared? Nah.

2007-07-31T13:05:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have asked if I'm scared or nervous to move to Korea. They seem surprised when I tell them 'Uh, no. Not really.' Most of the time I'm telling the truth. I probably get more scared after they ask because it seems like everyone thinks I SHOULD be terrified to move to that small country on the other side of the world where they eat cats and dogs, otherwise known as Korea.

'Why do you want to go there?' Sigh. Why do you want to live in Minnesota? Do you really love digging yourself out of the snowbank each year? I want to go there for the same reason you are where you are - it's just where I ended up. Actually, I just took a globe, spun it around, closed my eyes and put my finger down. Bam! Korea!

My favorite comment is 'Wow, you're going to be lonely.' Thank you. I appreciate the extra observations just in case I overlooked a few important facts - 1. I'm leaving my friends and family 2. I don't speak Korean 3. I have no idea what it looks like 4. Kimchi is disgusting. I got it!

Even my cat knows something is up. She is getting excited, running in and out of suitcases and boxes. She doesn't know what she's excited for yet, but it doesn't matter - the excitement is still out there. It's the same for me. I'm not sure what God has got in store for me, but I'm excited. Much like Rosa, I'm running in and out of stores, hugs, laughter, and my room trying to get it all done before tomorrow. It'll get done. I'll make it to Korea. I'll find out what the big deal is. But I will not be scared.

Success in "failures"

2007-03-09T13:55:00.000-06:00

I teach a class that is composed entirely of previously low level science students. I am expected to teach the same material to them as I teach my 'regular' science kids. IMPOSSIBLE! Sometimes I can't even get them to sit down and write their name on a paper before they're up again, hitting each other, yelling, just being loud and annoying. Sometimes my head hurts when I leave class. Needless to say, their lives are much different from mine.

This is why I love them.

One of my favorites, we'll call him Ande, has been working particularly hard. He is slow at typing and slow at reading, but he craves understanding. When everyone around him is goofing off, he is plugging away. What makes him exceptional is that he is overcoming so much adversity, even as a 9th grader. He wears the same thing every day to school. He is hungry. His mom can't afford to fix his broken glasses which he desperately needs. He isn't popular. I'm not even sure he gets to bathe often. He has never used any of those facts as excuses.

These are my 'failures'. Just like Jesus takes our sin and makes us new, I hope that God will show me how to see these kids clearly so I can give them the love and support they need to wipe out their failures and become successes.

Why can't miracles happen more quickly?

Introducing the Nuggets

2007-03-04T20:21:00.000-06:00

So freaking cute. Here they are - my nuggets.
I couldn't resist including the last one - the epitome of Emily :)

Welcome to the internet

2007-03-04T19:55:00.000-06:00

I have finally given in to what some would call the anonymity problem; writing to no one in particular only to give everyone the opportunity to read. Should I be surprised that people are lonely these days? Have you seen craigslist's "Missed Connections" and "Personals?"

This is my attempt at a blog spot. If you don't like it, don't read it. You are probably about as much fun as a turd in a punch bowl. Go party elsewhere.

I love physics and I love Jesus.

The Beginning.