If your dream house is a double-wide trailer sittin' back in the holler on a country road, then baby that's where we'll go.
-Jake Owen
At least once a day for the last few weeks, I've spontaneously burst into singing this country song, usually directed towards Matt, sometimes just singing to myself. It makes me laugh and smile, but mostly it reminds me of life's possibilities. Not so much possibilities regarding a double-wide trailer (it's doubtful we'll move any time soon, which is fine by me!) but exciting possibilities regarding life and work and play. My life dreams have always been pretty foggy, so as not to be too disappointed with any outcome, but they have recently become clearer than ever.
It went something like this:
Masters degree completed = (accomplishment +10, desire to teach -10)
Met with childbirth educator to answer questions about doula certification (hopeful +30)
A job interview is gifted to me, followed by some shadowing for work that would probably have been great with the exception of the hours. (uncertain -50)
Worry about money and future work. (worried -40)
Received email that solves money and future work problem temporarily. (hopeful +15)
Turned down job offer above. (fearful -10, hopeful +15)
Decide to fully pursue my own business being doula (clarity, hopefulness, joy +100, fear -3)
And that's where we're are today...+97 of good feelings. It's a scary road and I don't know what will happen. A few mornings ago after chores, I was shoveling old hay into the trailer behind the 4-wheeler to use for mulch in the garden. It was quiet and breezy except for a bird's song coming from somewhere down the barbwire fence. I stopped for a moment to realize that although my dreams have never specifically involved morning chores or digging up old hay piles, right there was precisely where I wanted to be. I had let go of trying to hang on to foggy ideals and pressures from nowhere important; I was finally content in my situation.
And then the 4-wheeler wouldn't start, so the feeling didn't last too long. But this time there were no tears of failure or choice words thrown out to the universe in frustration. I just laughed and said, "Fail!" and walked back to the house for some breakfast.
I have never imagined an actual Dream House, but my metaphorical Dream House for LIFE now has blueprints, and that is something to be thankful for, +75.
And that's where we're are today...+97 of good feelings. It's a scary road and I don't know what will happen. A few mornings ago after chores, I was shoveling old hay into the trailer behind the 4-wheeler to use for mulch in the garden. It was quiet and breezy except for a bird's song coming from somewhere down the barbwire fence. I stopped for a moment to realize that although my dreams have never specifically involved morning chores or digging up old hay piles, right there was precisely where I wanted to be. I had let go of trying to hang on to foggy ideals and pressures from nowhere important; I was finally content in my situation.
And then the 4-wheeler wouldn't start, so the feeling didn't last too long. But this time there were no tears of failure or choice words thrown out to the universe in frustration. I just laughed and said, "Fail!" and walked back to the house for some breakfast.
I have never imagined an actual Dream House, but my metaphorical Dream House for LIFE now has blueprints, and that is something to be thankful for, +75.
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| Mia KNOWS she is living her dreams, everyday. |
