I feel the Earth, move, under my feet

Bright and Rainy

Life in Korea is often surprising. Usually I am surprised by people. Tonight my yoga instructor walked around to fix our posture, stretch our limbs more than we thought possible, and then patted us on the butt to affirm the location of our pain. I collapsed from my pose laughing. Sometimes I forget that its totally acceptable for the teenage boys to climb all over one another and I'm suprised when I see them snuggling or walking nearly arm in arm. I'm often surprised at my own inability to remember words for things such as 'plate' and 'soy sauce'. But Wednesday brought a new kind of surprise.

Yesterday morning in the Land of the Morning Calm, the land was anything but calm. After wishing my 1st period class a good day, I sat down at my desk to read some emails. Students scurried noisily through the halls and were caught up in the whirlwind that is the high school day, filled with drama, laughter, and some learning. Just then, I heard a low but audible rumble and felt the floor shake. No sooner than I could mutter "WHAT THE....?" it was over and I mustered a shriek of joy; I had just experienced my first earthquake!

Even though it was small (the students in the hallway didn't even notice) it was still an earthquake and I survived it. It was the first time I have ever felt the ground MOVE underneath me. I forget how powerful Earth can be, without warning or having to ask for permission from anyone. I felt small and powerless for a second. Then I remembered Wednesday was snack day and headed to the teacher workroom for some apple pie.

The following are a few moments captured recently where I felt something powerful for a brief second before moving on to the next frame of my life.

In Seoul there is a canal that runs through the city and while strolling along on a rainy Saturday, it didn't feel like a city of 20 million people. It felt a little more like home. Until I looked at the picture and realized the old man behind me was staring a little too hard. Moving on...
The kids were awesome at our last Cross Country meet and they finished strong. The bonds of a team are tight and irreplaceable, it's hard to describe them. I was feeling sad about not coaching anymore and then I realized my FREEDOM; after school and Saturdays are mine! Moving on...

I am constantly oohing and ahhing over Jacob, this nugget who belongs to my friends Jaci and Mike. He is a happy kid and I can only hope my future nuggets will be this great. Towards the end of a 45 mile bike ride last weekend, the Korean triathelete surprised me with saying, "You have a good, ah, how do I say...sculpture." I think that means an athletic build with strong childbearing hips. Thanks! Moving on...

Melons and Melancholy

pretty field in Osan

Purina in Korea!

Every once in awhile, I turn into Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh's friend who is often a victim of misfortune, unintended exclusion, and absentmindedness. Eeyore doesn't seem to mind when things don't go his way, and instead of making a big deal about it, he continues to saunter along in his melancholy. I admire Eeyore's sense of self-acceptance, but wonder if he lacks a bit of joy in his life. I was definitely an Eeyore today for no apparent reason. A wave of doubt and sadness hit and pulled me back out into the sea of grumpiness. The source remains unidentified, but leave it up to melons and yoga to rescue me.

Fresh fruit is very expensive, so I often get $14 worth of frozen "tropical fruit" from Costco to ensure my food pyramid is not lopsided. During my melancholy coma, I made smoothies and delivered one to a friend upstairs. Without even knowing my current state, she met me at the door and exclaimed, "OH! I have a verse to share with you...it's so good!" and it was. It reminded me of the depth of God's love and how it extends farther than I can imagine, even out to the sea and down into the coma. It doesn't matter if I feel it or not; it's there for me to take whenever I like. Much like Korean grocery stores where the sample servers smile and let you come back as many times as you like, God smiles when we come to Him and lets us come back as many times as we want for His free love.

I was greatly encouraged and sauntered on into the next day with a peaceful heart.

Yoga class was later that night; its right after dinner time which is hard because if you eat before class, you feel awful, and if you don't eat all you think about is food while you're stretching. Yoga is a great place to try and focus your thinking, calm your mind, and relieve stress. Our instructor told me I had a pretty face today. That helped ease me out of the melancholy a bit. We followed along as she skillfully stretched in painful positions on the ground, and that's when it happened. The moment where all of my stress, all of my worries were thrown into the wind; someone in the 2nd row farted. This has never happened before so you can imagine the roar of laughter throughout the class. Luckily, there were only women so no one was too embarrassed. I never thought something so simple and natural could take a feeling that is so unnatural and complex and replace it with joy, but it did.

Thank you, Eeyore, for showing me how to be OK with my situations, thank you Christie for sharing with me God's love, and thank you, person in the 2nd row. You saved my week.

Corean Comforts

(I AM a bad speller, but I was told that back in the day when kimchee was still buried in the ground, it was spelled Corea.)

There are a lot of things that make living abroad bearable during the times when you miss home so much you want to fall on the floor and throw a fit. Rosa makes me feel at home with just a glance and a purr. The pretty ajuma at the mandu restaurant certainly gives me a feeling of being home. Here is an excerpt from a note I jotted down after a recent stop at her tiny 14 seat eatery:

I just ordered 'chol bok ee' but only have a vague idea of what I'm getting. The only thing I know for sure is that it is without meat, because she remembers me and remembers I'm not a fan of meat. I'm probably her only patron who doesn't eat it! She is patient with my broken Korean, usually throws in extra pickled yellow radish for Emily, and is always kind. Coupled with her bright pink lipstick, her patience and kindness easily make her the prettiest ajuma in Corea. That is more than enough to make me confident in ordering this mystery meal. She just came over to my table, glanced at this paper and smiled; she doesn't know what it says and I am glad because we already understand each other enough.

The last few weeks have been really comforting in a strange way; being involved in the lives of high schoolers is a very special and delicate privilege. I forget how sensitive we are and how much love and encouragement we need throughout all of the different seasons of life. There is something very comforting in knowing you're needed. I feel needed by some of my kids here and that doesn't just make it feel like home, it is home.

Chacha and Jennifer were in my small group for Spiritual Emphasis Week

Jiwon trying to keep warm before cross country practice

Jean was my super senior group leader


Varsity girl with Coach Barrigar before a race

Zuba Pants for Life

Many people wondered when it would happen. When? Who? What will it take?! When will she make up her mind and just settle down? Is all of this world traveling necessary?

Here's the answer folks; just have a look at him. This is my fiance, Matt. Apparently, dressing in 80's clothes and posing as Ferris Bueller is what really makes my heart go all a flutter. He went from being my ex-boyfriend to my future husband in a matter of hours in this getup.

(Ferris Bueller, Flashdance Farewell party for me, 2008)

Its no wonder we are supposed to be together, because apparently the night he decided that I was The One, I looked like this:

(American Gladiators and Red Riding Hood, Halloween 2006)

In all seriousness, we are engaged and are really excited about it. We will have to wait a long time to be together (literally together in the same room, state, and or continent) since I'll be teaching in Korea until June. I very much dislike waiting for anything, but this is one of the things in which I've recently had a change of heart.

It has taken me a long time to want to give up things that I love for someone else. I'm pretty selfish most of the time. I love this job and these kids (and the convenience of East Asia travel!) and it will be tough to leave. A wise friend of mine here once told me, "You know Mer, when the time is right, God will change your heart and you will be ready to compromise those things." He was totally right.

I've gotten pretty comfortable in my single life and think about how weird it will be to have someone else in my house ALL THE TIME. Or how strange it must feel to discuss with someone before making a purchase like a plane ticket or another cat! It's pretty funny when I think of how settled I've become in my own way. I'm not worried though; God has always provided for me when He puts me in new places or new situations. I've been given patience and grace when I didn't expect to have it. I've been given friends who have inspired me at the right moments to take risks and some who have encouraged me when I most needed it. And now I've been given a willingness to compromise my swanky single status and lifestyle. What a pleasant surprise. :)

(Matt and Mer, post kickball game 2008)

Assa!!

A friend of mine sent me a facebook message that said, "Meredith, you're famous!!" After years of whining about never making into a Luther brochure, I made it into a Korean tourist video! I feel like a rock star! This was actually one of my top 5 favorite days in Korea. Apparently, my friend Adam and I looked like we would be up for dressing up in weird traditional costume and pitching a line for Korea. Heck yes! Assa!

Red Cedar River Reflection

You said to write when I think of you.

I still think of you
and look at your picture
and picture us with
all of our wishes and
wish to believe that
your non-believing wasn't
the only straw because
I was your one and only
and you were my favorite
and surely we were
meant to be until
we said what we really meant.

Oh the Places You (might not) Go

I was recently reading "Oh the Places You'll Go" to my niece, Emily, and remembered what a genius Dr. Seuss really was. His words of encouragement are catchy, fun, humbling, and true. I'm sure Jesus had some pretty sweet rhymes too, they just didn't get recorded. I have been inspired and encouraged by both of these men and it would probably do me some good to learn more about who they were and how they were able to produce such encouraging words.

Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I think it's important to be built up by others and to have great expectations for our lives, but the reality is that we won't always be happy and we certainly won't always be on top of the mountain. No one ever promised us that, and if they did, they were lying. What we are promised is hope and a fulfilling future.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

I forget this a lot. When everything hits the fan (usually because I threw it up there myself) it's easy for me to forget that even though I mess up, even though I might take a longer route than most, these promises are still for me. My friend Emily reminded me of God's love today - it doesn't stop, ever, no matter how much we throw at the fan. It's hard for me to imagine this love, since I love my nuggets more than anything else in this world but start to think of ways to drug them when they wake me up at 6am every day. "Aunt Merry, can I color? Can I watch cartoons?" asks Emily. "Aunt Merry, EVERYONE is awake except for you," says Zachary. "A slight dose of NyQuil...." thinks Aunt Merry. Then I get a kiss like this, and the "unconditional" love quickly returns.


A good friend of mine is losing her Grandpa to cancer. This is her first encounter with losing someone she loves. Both Dr. Seuss and God have something to say about this.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
.
.
.
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

Romans 8:38
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
.
.
.
will be able to separate us from the love of God.

I'm not the best at balancing things in my life. Life is not a rollercoaster, it's more like a pendulum, or the swinging pirate ship at the fair. The ups last longer than the downs and you get a big stomach ache somewhere in-between, but the laws of gravity (and God) promise that we will keep swinging.

So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.