The leaves on the (dying) trees are brighter today.
The air from the (toxic) sky is crisper today.
The rays from the (UV laden) sun are warmer today.
Your (barely aging) face is still sweet.
Your (nearly graying) hair is still messy.
Your (bleeding-from-work) hands are still gentle.
I'm glad today (you were born.) is your birthday.
You make (the death in my) days bearable.
You bring joy to my (dull) life.
It was Matt's birthday last week. This means it's October; the beginning of falll, the end of any possibility of just one more glorious summer day, and the end of my beloved garden...(insert stifled sob). I start to think about Matt's 32 years of life so far and I mourn for the ones I wasn't a part of. It sounds silly really, because he might not have turned out to be my awesomely wonderful Matt, had we met previously. But I start to think about our future as a couple and understand that we might not always be in good health. One of us will probably outlive the other by a number of years. One day we will wake up and realize that our bones ache, our steps have slowed, and one of us has lost most of our hair (and I'm really hoping that "one" is not me). We will no longer be able to run marathons, stay up late for hammerschlagen at bonfires, and our bodies will have changed into, um, less sexy versions of ourselves. It all sounds so terribly morbid and depressing and oh my gosh how do you get up in the morning, Meredith?!
Don't worry, it's all good. Because I'm a total sentimental mental case, I totally and fully, love every single second with this man (except those single seconds that I don't but they're in the minority and so they DO NOT COUNT!) I am grateful for things (like fall, and death, and change) that remind me to appreciate the people I love, to be thankful of how life turns out (or doesn't turn out), and to look bravely ahead, semi-optimistically.
It's October; time to snuggle into my sweet little house, tidy up my dirty fireplace, and enjoy the warmth of my furry and non-furry favorites.
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