Particle Physics or Providence?

I'm currently debating whether to start my new bible study homework or work on tomorrow's lesson plans; both promise to unveil the origins of the universe. One would be learning about providence and the other an act of trusting that providence.

I've recently been inspired by a new city, a new blog, and a new bible study. I like them because they inspire me to learn more. A friend of a friend has a tattoo on his ankle that says in Latin, I am still learning. It reminds me that its ok to take time to process information, to make connections years later, and to continue to learn about yourself and the world. Maybe this is why I'm still learning about particle physics; I didn't quite get it the first time. Maybe this is why I'm still learning about God's providence; I didn't fully understand the first time, or the second time, or any of the times...but that's ok. After all, I am still learning.

For Lunar New Year, 8 of us went to Hiroshima where the first atomic bomb used in warfare was dropped. It was a place of great sadness, greif, destruction, and hope. Usually when a city or country is attacked brutally and seemingly unfairly (a large percent of the casualties were children, no warning, etc) the natural reaction is to "Get 'em back! Revenge!" The response from the Japanese people was much different. Of course they surrendered, I'm sure they didn't have much of a choice. But they did have a choice to change their hearts and make something good out of something really really crappy. They could have vowed to get back at the US, could have fostered feelings of hate...there are a lot of things they could have done in the aftermath of evil. Instead they chose to turn the other cheek; they chose peace. They strongly felt and still feel that evil repayed with more evil is not OK. There is no political point or pointing fingers here, I simply feel a miracle present when people can take their personal pain and grief and turn it into hope for the rest of the world. Amazing.

The museum and monuments were hard to digest and the trip could have easily been overwhelming, but 7 of my girlfriends were present. It was chaotic and fun and most of our time was spent eating, laughing, or trying to make sure no one wandered off...you can see in the picture above how focused we were....

Particle physics won tonight. I am ready to teach about leptons and quarks and even a few bosons and ferimons. It may have taught me a lesson in providence though. I've recently been plagued with the nesting urge, now stronger than usual. Many thoughts run through my head like, How great would it be to quit my job, have some babies and spend my days knitting and cooking! Then I read a chapter about force carrier particles and antimatter and my heart skips a beat...maybe God wants me to teach awhile longer. Maybe I have more purpose to fulfill in this role...Rosa, on the other hand, doesn't care much about these things and thinks it's time to go to bed and uses all methods to convince me to stop, at least for tonight.


Particle physics and providence will both be on my mind this week. Maybe they shouldn't be looked upon as completely seperate ideas in my life. Rosa has no comment. It's bedtime.