There's no particular reason why the picture of a myself and a buffalo was posted other than I am having a crappy day and it makes me laugh. It was taken in the Black Hills of South Dakota 5 minutes after I claimed that anyone who suggested there were real buffalo in the Hills was a buffoon. After this one, we saw 3 more!Today was not what you might call a good day, but it wasn't horrible. It's amazing what a lack of sleep will do to your face. I looked like I might bust out into tears all day because I was so tired. It's days like this that make me question whether or not I should have children - the thought of having this almost-in-tears-face for 18 years terrifies me.
I have also questioned this week whether or not I'm supposed to have children or even get married. Would it really be that bad? There are plenty of ways to 'have kids'; in the classroom, my brothers' children, kids that I coach, my friends kids, the neighborhood kids. All of these children need parenting and it shouldn't have to come from just one set of parents. The cheesy quote about how it takes a village to raise a child, really has some value in it.
There are lots of things that should be written and shared right now, but my face hurts from looking so sad and tired all day. I should really give it a rest or it might freeze like that guy's face in the back row. That picture makes me laugh too. The figures are Buddha's personalities expressed by different statues, except the one in the middle is so out of place! I wonder if that's what I look like to Koreans....
This is a day when it would be awesome if God would follow me into the locker room with His clipboard, throw it on the ground, get a little loud and angry with my lack of trust and patience, and then give me a pep talk. He would point out a few specific mistakes I've made, give me some suggestions and then say, "Fix it. Make the adjustment! Go get 'em!" And then I would be really inspired and fired up and run out of the locker room while God pats me on the back, calmly gathers up His clipboard and goes back to watch me try to play better.
But He did give me a pep talk through 1 Timothy 6:11. "But you [Meredith], belong to God; so run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness." 'Don't forget to use your head fake before you drive the lane for a layup. Finish hard, but lay it up soft, like an egg.' That last part is paraphrased from memories of coach Randy. :) It's all good advice.
Some encouragement for you, O long lost student-o-mine... As you run your race, Merrybird... think on these things: (a quote from a favorite Scottish pastor of the 19th century, Horatius Bonar)
ReplyDelete“If I am a new creature in Christ, then I stand before God, not in myself—but in Christ. He sees no longer me—but only him in whom I am—him who represents me, Christ Jesus, my substitute and surety. In believing, I have become so identified with the Son of his love, that the favor with which he regards him passes over to me, and rests, like the sunshine of the new heavens, upon me.
In Christ, and through Christ, I have acquired a new standing before the Father. I am ‘accepted in the beloved.’
My old standing, that is, that of distance, and disfavor, and condemnation, is wholly removed, and I am brought into one of nearness, and acceptance, and pardon—I am made to occupy a new footing, just as if my old one had never been. Old guilt, heavy as the mountain, vanishes; old dread, gloomy as midnight, passes off; old fear, dark as hell, gives place to the joyful confidence arising from forgiveness and reconciliation, and the complete blotting out of sin.
All things are made new. I have changed my standing before God; and that simply in consequence of that oneness between me and Christ, which has been established, through my believing the record given concerning him. I come to him on a new footing, for I am “in Christ,” and in me there has been a new creation.”
" Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well. Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done-a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own. If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift."
ReplyDelete-Kyle Lake
So I guess I offer this quote as encouragement, because I think in many ways, my belief in these truths comes from my friendship with you. Someone who I feel has always LIVED, and LIVED HARD in every facet of that life. Sometimes that means having the best "don't make me burst into tears" face that anybody could possibly have.
I remember a video of a basketball coach, one that really gets to me, you probably remember that video...I believe there are three things you should do every day, number one is laugh, number two is to spend some time in thought, in reflection, and number three is to have your emotions moved to tears, whether it be by joy or happiness, think about that if you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a pretty good day, you do that 7 times a week and that's something special.
So if that face you're making leads to tears, then so be, but make it a good cry, a cry that reminds us that we're human, a cry that comes from joys, from fears, from doubts.
I think the doubt is what sets good people apart from the rest of the world, that they doubt their own ability to do certain things, or to be certain things for certain people, I'd be more frightened if you didn't have that doubt, but good people have friends, and those friends know how good those people are, how capable, how extraordinary they can be. And when self doubt creeps in, to remind you that you're human, to keep good people on their toes and working hard, that's the time when those friends step in and remind them that they are in fact good people, capable of so many amazing things, and that we never doubted them at all. Meredith, I've never doubted that you are without question...good people.
I'm sorry you had a bad day--imagine this to make you smile. During our first day of school blah blah stuff with the superintendent my friend's phone rang...her ringtone- "I had a bad day"-Daniel Powter...You could have heard a pin drop. We still laugh about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you still look great even when you are ready to cry--heh crying is good for you, it is very cleansing. I don't know about crying with kids--I'm thinking I don't cry as much as I should, I definitely have my share of frustration with my kids--but I am thinking that I have traded tears for joy!!
Take care-keep in touch and....
How LOWELL can you go????
buffalo! for fun. Here's something that should make you laugh. Guess what I was for halloween? I'll tell you. Baberham Lincoln. :) I love you!
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